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SydLexia.com - Site News and Random Shit http://sitenews.sydlexia.com News and updates about SydLexia.com Mon, 19 Dec 2016 00:45:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.2.15 Dunkin’ Dangerous http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/dunkin-dangerous/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/dunkin-dangerous/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2015 12:47:42 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2148

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An Open Letter To Nintendo of America Regarding Club Nintendo http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/an-open-letter-to-nintendo-of-america-regarding-club-nintendo/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/an-open-letter-to-nintendo-of-america-regarding-club-nintendo/#comments Wed, 21 Jan 2015 02:58:58 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2121 Dear Nintendo of America,

So you’ve decided to discontinue Club Nintendo. Not only that, but you didn’t even have the guts to tell us to our faces. Rather than sending out a mass e-mail at a reasonable time, which would have been the decent and classy thing to do, you snuck an announcement onto your website in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. So I found out the news secondhand, from a Twitter newsfeed. That’s bush league, Nintendo, that I had to find out that way. I feel like I’m back in 8th grade, when my girlfriend broke up with me during lunch by sending her second-best friend over to my table to tell me.



I can’t say I’m really surprised the program is being discontinued in favor of a new loyalty program, because all we – the fans – have done for the last two or three years is complain about how poorly excecuted Club Nintendo has been. In fairness to us though, you did handle Club Nintendo EXTREMELY poorly. 95% of the physical rewards that you offers us were garbage. Greeting cards! Shoelaces! Calendars! It was like walking down my least favorite aisle in the supermarket, except everything was Nintendo-themed. My bank offers better rewards for signing up for a checking account than most of the stuff you offered us, and that checking account was free, as opposed to having to spend a minimum of six hundred dollars and complete post-play surveys to get any of the better prizes you’ve offered.

But I get it. Club Nintendo is expensive to run. At least, it was when you still deemed us worthy of receiving bonus gifts other than posters and game cases. And I don’t mean to get sidetracked here, but posters? Seriously? For 700 freaking coins? We used to get posters for free inside our NES and SNES boxes. Anyway, It’s pretty obvious that the cheap, ugly paper prizes were a result of expense-cutting; the more recent emphasis on digital prizes was clearly a result of this too. Still, one has to wonder… why not just shift entirely to digital prizes? Sure, we’d probably complain about it, but we’d eventually come around and concede it was better than nothing. Are the extra few pennies you’re saving on each game box by not packing Club Nintendo codes into them really worth the dissolution of the whole program? If you’re that hard up for money, why don’t you just print more Amiibos? That would be a much more consumer-friendly way to make money. But I suspect you are planning to go back to the Old Ways, which is to say, game-specific deals. We’ve already seen a hint of this with recent promotions such as the free soundtrack and DLC for registering both versions of Smash Bros., or the free digital game download for registering Mario Kart 8. And that’s fine, I guess. From a business standpoint, it seems a little dumb. With the exception of a Shin Megami Tensei 4/Fire Emblem: Awakening promotion, all of these bonus deals have been tied into Nintendo’s biggest franchises, aka The Stuff Everyone Was Going To Buy Anyway. The current model rewards players for buying lesser titles like Wii Play and Spirit Camera, and in doing so encourages players to be more adventurous in their gaming purchases.

But that’s not my biggest problem with your announcement, Nintendo. Here’s my biggest problem with your announcement:



Information will not carry over? I mean, I never expected my Coins to carry over, as I am being given ample time to spend them. Obviously you just mean my Coins, right? Wrong.



So the accounts will be deleted, along with my registration history. I have a HUGE problem with this. First off, Club Nintendo is the only way that you track our digital purchases. So if my Wii U or 3DS is lost or damaged beyond repair, this is the only way to prove what games I bought, and the only chance I have at getting my purchases reinstated on the new hardware. Of course, I’ll still have to call your customer service line and beg them to do so. Your official (and embarrassingly anti-consumer) policy in the case of damages and theft is “too bad, buy the games” again. In your defense, you are well-documented to have reissued downloads to people who are willing to spend a couple hours on the phone with you. Then again, you are also well-documented to have sent new or reformatted gaming devices to people who sent their systems to you for your horrendously overpriced repairs SPECIFICALLY to keep their game library and save files intact. So there’s that. But as awful as that is, there’s even more important stuff at stake than mere money.



Although Club Nintendo didn’t launch until 2009, my Club Nintendo account is listed as being active since October 2003, because that is when I joined the now-defunct Nintendo Nsider Forums. When Club Nintendo launched in 2009, it piggybacked off the Nsider forums. Prior to the launch of Club Nintendo, you guys had run a couple of special of production registration promos. One of these promotions was a giveaway of the super awesome and exclusive Legend of Zelda: Collector’s Edition for Gamecube, which included four Zelda games: both NES games and both N64 games, including Ocarina’s Master Quest. I took advantage of this promotion on December 26, 2003. I registered my GBA SP, my GCN, Mario Kart: Double Dash, and Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga to qualify. How do I know what I registered and when? Because I can see it in my Club Nintendo history.

As someone who can trace the lineage of his Club Nintendo account back twelve years, I would like you to know that I have grown quite attached to it. It is a source of great pride for me. Over the course of 6 years, I have earned a total of 7070 coins thus far, of which I have spent 5500. So, to say that I am a loyal consumer would be a bit of understatement. As I would like to say the following thing to you. Call it a request, a plea, a demand, a threat, whatever. But whatever you call it, I suggest that you heed my advice. And my advice is as follows…

Whatever your new loyalty program is, it should be built on the bones of Club Nintendo, just like how Club Nintendo was built on the bones of Nsider. It should not, under any circumstances, be built from the ground up. I have worked too hard and too long building up the prestige of my Club Nintendo account to suddenly find myself on equal footing with everyone else. That is not only unfair, it is downright deplorable. I am NOT on equal footing with everyone else. I have been a Platinum-ranked member of Club Nintendo every year since 2009. On July 1, 2015, you better have registration for your new loyalty program ready to go, and those of us who had Club Nintendo accounts damn well better be able to import our histories into the new program.

Nintendo, you are a company that many of us love for one reason: longevity. You have an amazing cache of long-running franchises that are just as fun today as they were twenty, twenty-five, even thirty years ago. And here’s the thing. Here’s my main point. Here’s the sound bite that you can take home with you from this whole TL;DR affair:

As a company that milks its own history for every last cent that its worth, you have absolutely no right to erase MY history.

To do so would be exceedingly hypocritical of you. To do so just might be the straw that finally breaks my allegiance to you. I have stuck with your company through a litany of bad business decisions including but not limited to: your backwards work-in-progress strategy for online gaming, your adoption of full-sized game discs two full generations too late, your failure to aggressively court third party developers at any point over the last four generations, your failure to aggressively push for game engine support on your platforms, your poorly designed N64 analog sticks, and the original 3DS models which are so poorly designed that they all eventually scratch the ever-living hell out of their own top screens. Heck, I’ve already convinced myself to buy a New 3DS, even though your failure to include a charger means that I can’t trade in my old 3DS to help finance it. But enough is enough. I am neither prepared nor willing to give up a login that I’ve had for twelve years. That is an awful thing to ask of me. I deserve to have my past accomplishments carry over in some way or other, even if it is just badges in my Account History on the new site denoting my past Club Nintendo participation. Oh hey, that’s another bad decision you made: failure to include a unified trophy/achievement/accomplishment system on the Wii U even though developers and gamers have made it clear that they enjoy such things. But back to linking our Club Nintendo product histories and reward histories to your new loyalty program. I know it would be playing against type, but just this once, do you think you could actually listen to the fans? I promise not to tell if you don’t. Oh, and if you’re wondering why you should consider listening to me, I’ve including my credentials below. Have a nice day.

Sincerely,
Syd Lexia

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I Got New Socks For Christmas! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-got-new-socks-for-christmas/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-got-new-socks-for-christmas/#comments Mon, 29 Dec 2014 16:12:39 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2116
So here’s a chart.

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Christmas at Kris Lexia’s: Beauty and the Beast Style http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/christmas-at-kris-lexias-beauty-and-the-beast-style/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/christmas-at-kris-lexias-beauty-and-the-beast-style/#comments Fri, 26 Dec 2014 00:47:17 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2114
A new article is up.

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Random Musings: The Legend of Zelda http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/random-musings-the-legend-of-zelda/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/random-musings-the-legend-of-zelda/#comments Mon, 15 Dec 2014 23:53:13 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2111
A new article is up.

In loving memory of Raymond Scott Bishop, 1993-2014

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Ten Years: A Retrospective http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/ten-years-a-retrospective/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/ten-years-a-retrospective/#comments Tue, 18 Nov 2014 07:48:37 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2109
A new article is up.

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Kris Lexia’s Snackoween Spooktacular http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/kris-lexias-snackoween-spooktacular/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/kris-lexias-snackoween-spooktacular/#comments Tue, 28 Oct 2014 05:24:28 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2107
A new article is up.

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Syd Lexia on Abadox: The Deadly Inner War http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/syd-lexia-on-abadox-the-deadly-inner-war/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/syd-lexia-on-abadox-the-deadly-inner-war/#comments Sat, 15 Jun 2013 03:53:55 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2080
A new article is up.

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Congratulations, You’re Brilliant http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/congratulations-youre-brilliant/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/congratulations-youre-brilliant/#comments Thu, 28 Feb 2013 13:33:16 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2076  

Haddox has updated his site.

 

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Pong: Violent, Sexist, And Vile http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/pong-violent-sexist-and-vile/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/pong-violent-sexist-and-vile/#comments Thu, 14 Jun 2012 02:42:39 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2067
A new article is up.

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Battleship: In American Theaters Today! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/battleship-in-american-theaters-today/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/battleship-in-american-theaters-today/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 05:23:47 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2055
      So that Battleship movie starring Liam Neeson is out today, in case you decided that paying to see The Avengers a sixth time seems excessive. Spoiler alert: it isn’t. The trailers for Battleship looked completely fucking shitty, and I definitely won’t be seeing it. What really pisses me off is that I know I could make a way better movie loosely based on the classic Milton Bradley board game. Here’s my pitch:

      You know you fucking love it.

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Oh, You Like Making Memes? You Must Be So Creative. http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/oh-you-like-making-memes-you-must-be-so-creative/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/oh-you-like-making-memes-you-must-be-so-creative/#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 21:02:27 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2052

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Never Forget My Despair http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/never-forget-my-despair/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/never-forget-my-despair/#comments Wed, 16 May 2012 16:57:23 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2048
Oh, I still make demotivational posters sometimes.

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#YOLO http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/yolo/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/yolo/#comments Tue, 15 May 2012 13:44:05 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2044

You only live once. Do it up like a complete fucking badass.

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Some Sound Advice… http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/sound-sound-advice/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/sound-sound-advice/#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 14:46:21 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2037

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Bart’s Nightmare: A Review By Valdronius http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/barts-nightmare-a-review-by-valdronius/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/barts-nightmare-a-review-by-valdronius/#comments Tue, 10 Apr 2012 03:52:17 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2030
A new article is up.

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What Mario Does, And What People Think He Does http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/what-mario-does-and-what-people-think-he-does/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/what-mario-does-and-what-people-think-he-does/#comments Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:19:12 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2018

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Nine Simple Truths That Mega Man Proved Wrong http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/nine-simple-truths-that-mega-man-proved-wrong/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/nine-simple-truths-that-mega-man-proved-wrong/#comments Sun, 12 Feb 2012 22:53:27 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2013
A new article is up.

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Watch Not Sure Destroy Mega Man 2 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/watch-not-sure-destroy-mega-man-2/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/watch-not-sure-destroy-mega-man-2/#comments Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:33:52 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2003       SydLexia.com forum member Not Sure, who made waves on the internet earlier this year with his 600 point game of Super Mario Bros., recently completed a no damage run of Mega Man 2. On Difficult, of course. You should totally watch it, as it is quite impressive. Not Sure was the winner of the 2008 SydLexia.com NES Championship, the 2009 SydLexia.com SNES Championship, and the the 2009 SydLexia.com NES Championship. He could have easily won more events, but he has abstained from further competition on the basis that he’s way too fucking good at 2D games. And believe me, he absolutely is way too fucking good at 2D games. See for yourself.
 

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I Hate Tiggers http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-hate-tiggers/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-hate-tiggers/#comments Thu, 11 Aug 2011 20:19:09 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=2001  

Haddox has updated his site.

 

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Press Start 2 Continue, Now On DVD! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/press-start-2-continue-now-on-dvd/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/press-start-2-continue-now-on-dvd/#comments Fri, 11 Mar 2011 15:32:24 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1993
Buy Press Start 2 Continue!

      Press Start 2 Continue, the sequel to the fantastic independent video game comedy Press Start, is now available on DVD from my good friends at Dark Maze Studios. Buy it. Buy it a lot.

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Super Mario CCD: Legend Of The Seven Deadly Sins http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/super-mario-ccd-legend-of-the-seven-deadly-sins/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/super-mario-ccd-legend-of-the-seven-deadly-sins/#comments Fri, 18 Feb 2011 22:50:39 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1987
A new article is up.

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News Section Upgrade http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/news-section-upgrade/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/news-section-upgrade/#comments Sat, 04 Dec 2010 17:10:54 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1982 WordPress has been upgraded to take advantage of all the new bells and whistles in the latest version. My job at this point is to make sure that it all looks the same as it always did.

If you see any problems, please PM me in the forums.

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Six! Six! Six! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/six-six-six/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/six-six-six/#comments Wed, 03 Nov 2010 04:00:44 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1974

      SydLexia.com turns 6 years old today. Happy birthday, website! With a little luck and a lot of caffeine, there will be a major content update posted to help celebrate this exciting anniversary before the end of the week.

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Campaign Signs And The Idiots Who Love Them http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/campaign-signs-and-the-idiots-who-love-them/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/campaign-signs-and-the-idiots-who-love-them/#comments Tue, 02 Nov 2010 15:38:28 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1971  

Haddox has updated his site.

 

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I Won A Free Wii Game! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-won-a-free-wii-game/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-won-a-free-wii-game/#comments Sat, 30 Oct 2010 09:05:55 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1966

      In honor of Halloween, Steve and Jeff over at 8bitrocket.com held a contest where the prize was a copy of the Wii version of the 2010 remake of Atari’s classic 1981 game Haunted House. The contest rules were simple: name another classic Atari game you’d like to see remade. My suggestion, a remake of the unfinished Swordquest series as a single, won. I should note that 8bitrocket is no way affiliated with Atari, so don’t expect to see the game come to fruition. That being said, you should still definitely visit 8bitrocket.com. They design flash games and flash game engines, specializing in retro arcade style action. They have also written a book on how to code and design your own flash games.

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McDonald’s Halloween Pails Have Returned… Too Bad They Suck! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/mcdonalds-halloween-pails-have-returned-too-bad-they-suck/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/mcdonalds-halloween-pails-have-returned-too-bad-they-suck/#comments Wed, 27 Oct 2010 02:22:17 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1959

      So McDonald’s debuted a new line of Halloween pails this year. Just like last time they brought the pails back, they don’t have lids, which is completely weak. And this time, they have a Mr. Potato Head theme. The gimmick is that each pail has a few blank Potato Heads printed on it and comes with a set of stickers that you can place on them to design your own Halloween Potato Head. That’s cool, right? WRONG. You know what would have been cool? Halloween-themed Potato Head Kids. Great fucking work, McDonald’s. I hope whoever came up with this dumb idea dies, if they haven’t already.

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NES Launch ’85: A Look At The First Games For The Nintendo Entertainment System http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/nes-launch-85-a-look-at-the-first-games-for-the-nintendo-entertainment-system/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/nes-launch-85-a-look-at-the-first-games-for-the-nintendo-entertainment-system/#comments Mon, 18 Oct 2010 17:50:21 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1956
A new article is up.

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Liu Kang: Your 2010 Nobel Peace Prize Winner! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/liu-kang-your-2010-nobel-peace-prize-winner/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/liu-kang-your-2010-nobel-peace-prize-winner/#comments Fri, 08 Oct 2010 19:00:12 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1838

No, seriously. This really happened.

source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/nobel_peace_prize

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Fun With Search Engines #143: I Love You http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/fun-with-search-engines-143-i-love-you/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/fun-with-search-engines-143-i-love-you/#comments Thu, 07 Oct 2010 05:15:52 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1702       Yes, it’s time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site feature where I take a look at some of the keywords that brought people to SydLexia.com. This Fun With Search Engines report is for the twenty-five week period beginning March 21st, 2010 and ending September 11th, 2010. As always, these are all real searches. Here we go…

1. nes adventure games – These games include Adventure Island, Adventures of Lolo, Pero’s Great Adventure, Adventure Island 2, and The Adventure of Link.

2. sonia the warrior arnold swartzanigger – Excellent spelling attempt. You were so close! SO CLOSE!

3. dark link and zelda having sex – Princess Zelda is a saint!

4. i wanna bone – You mean Assistant Principal Bone? Done:

Assistant Principal Bone.

5. best snes games – SydLexia.com brought you The 100 Best SNES Games Ever back in 2007.

6. resident evil hentai jill valentine – You know, maybe I should just turn SydLexia.com into a hentai site. I get so many goddam hentai searches, I might as well just give the people what they want.

7. sydlexia disease – Rumors of my gonorrhea have been greatly exaggerated.

8. picture of a gun – Here you go. ADDED BONUS: The gun is being held by Jon Voight.

Jon Voight with a gun.

9. the world just lost another hulkamaniac – I’m guessing it wasn’t Bastion Booger or Giant Gonzales.

10. where were you while we were getting high – Drinking Diet Coke and listening to Oasis.

11. no one expresses themselves better than rain – Scorpion, Reptile, Sub-Zero, and even Ermac disagree.

12. whomp there it is – While my article on Whomp ‘Em appreciates the traffic, you’re looking for this:

Whoomp! (There It Is)

13. rad racer sprite sheet – Fuck Rad Racer.

14. fuck imitations – I agree, and I thank you for visiting SydLexia.com instead of cheap foreign knock-offs like SquidLexia.com or SydLaxative.com.

15. sesame street conspiracy – The only thing that Sesame Street conspires to do is provide families who can’t afford cable with access to fun and educational programming for young children. Thanks to Sesame Street, countless children first learned the difference between squares and circles; they also learned about rusty trombones.

16. joe biden is a fucking nutjob – I disagree. Let’s let America decide, based solely on this file photograph:

Vice President Joe Biden.

17. bullshit nes game endingsHere. At the end of this article, I wasn’t promising a sequel; I was making a joke. But since a lot of readers complained that the July 2010 sequel article never appeared, I guess I have no choice but to make it happen.

18. eight bit nintendo games that suck – I feel like you could have just said “NES games that suck”. You probably would have gotten better results!

19. bandai sucks – Aside from Wisdom Tree/Color Dreams and Acclaim/LJN, Bandai was easily the worst game publisher on the NES.

20. donkey kong climber – Donkey Kong climbs in his eponymous debut. Let’s pretend that’s the game you’re talking about, since it’s way better.

Donkey Kong escaping with Pauline.

21. neopets faeries hentai – I used to be really into Neopets, until I realized it was just mindless grinding. As for the hentai request, kill yourself. I realize that I mulled over converting SydLexia.com into a hentai site a few minutes ago; I’ve decided against it.

22. peabody project ayaotdThe Tale of the Unexpected Vistor was pretty mediocre.

23. do porn stars enjoy to fuck or pretend – Presumably, all of the male talent enjoys their work. At the very least, all of the heterosexual male talent enjoys their work. A lot of the female talent does not enjoy the work and only get involved in porn because they’re desperate for money. A very high percentage of women who enter porn only appear in a handful of scenes and then quit because they hate the work so much.

24. shit – Instead of shit, say poo:

The Great Mighty Poo.

25. super mario 2 was a lie – It’s not a lie, it’s a real game. You can play it, and you can even win if you’re good enough, just like most other NES games. I have the cartridge.

26. games you’ve never played – I’ve never played Captain Novolin. I hear I didn’t miss anything.

27. dinisaur nes gameDinisaur? Seriously? How can anyone get that wrong? I’m pretty sure that dinosaur is the first word over 4 letters long that I learned to spell. You know why? BECAUSE DINOSAURS ARE FUCKING AWESOME.

28. sly cooper cartoon porn – Instead of Sly Cooper porn, here’s a fully clothed picture of a much more talented thief:

Carmen Sandiego.

29. maniac mansion endings – Some of the best endings to Maniac Mansion can be seen HERE, courtesy of my good friend Valdronius.

30. syd lexia ending – I know how my life will end. To see the shocking truth, highlight this entry. SPOILER – I will die the way most writers die: alcohol-inspired suicide.

31. doldies poyut pionerskie gorni – I have no idea what the fuck I just read. Russian? Polish? Gibberish?

32. mb is scary – I’m going to assume that M.B. stands for horror icon Michael Berryman. He’s the best.

Michael Berryman.

33. images – Why not visit my bandwith-raping image dump?

34. ultimate morkat kombat 3 – Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3? More like Slightly Better Version Of That Really Shitty Game Mortal Kombat 3.

35. sisters fucking – Sex, hentai, fucking, hentai, porn, porn, fucking! The internet has very limited interests.

36. second-hand smoke kills – It sure does:

The Smoke Monster.

37. how many stages does adventure island have – 8 levels comprised of 4 stages each for a grand total of 32.

38. rock stacks – I’m sorry… are you using Google to search for crack? Is that what’s going on here?

39. best weapon in joe and mac – Electricity is almost definitely the best weapon, but I prefer the Ninja Clones.

40. surprise sex – In the legal world, that’s what’s known as rape. You might want to stop doing that.

Rape: It's What's For Dinner.

41. megaman cutman – If they made that game today, he’d cut himself instead of you.

42. which nintendo game is best – To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women! Wait, my bad. I read that question wrong.

43. game watch turtle bridge – You can read about it HERE.

44. it’s a sad thing that your adventures have ended here – Don’t I know it?

45. I dropped the ring – OMG, Frodo reads the site! How cool is that? Sir, I am a huge fan.

One ring to rule them all.

46. sweet little office bitch changing in cubicle – Outstanding.

47. are you afraid of the dark – You know, I get an ungodly amount of hits from this show. Maybe I should further capitalize on this.

48. which former wwe champion is known to tell children to eat properly and say their prayers – Come on! COME ON!

49. naked zombie – You know, I can really relate to this search. Nothing gets me hotter than naked rotting corpses. Except, not.

50. virtual boy games list – I’ll do you one better. Click on the picture below for a link to my article on the 100 Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever.

The 100 Greatest Virtual Boy Games Ever.

51. mystery houseHey, read my review of Mystery House.

52. how to shag like a porn star – If you have to ask, then you’ll never know.

53. go ahead dauntlessly – No. There could be traps.

54. the 100 best best lists – Ooh, that’s so meta.

55. terminator smile – He had such a nice smile. He should have smiled more!

The Terminator smiles.

56. come to the dark side we have girls – That’s a complete fucking lie. But we do have cookies.

57. duck hunt is supposed to be a light-hearted game about team work – Wrong. Duck Hunt is supposed to be a light-hearted game about using the NES controller to ruin the game for the person shooting at the ducks.

58. good nes game for a trip – Well if you’re taking your NES to a rustic cabin on a lake, I recommend this super fun camping sim.

59. mega man 4 how to kill toad man – THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS TO EVERYTHING ELSE! Shit, that line didn’t quite work. It never does.

60. michael jackson sprite dance – Dance Michael, dance:

Michael Jackson.

61. greatest nes games everClick here.

62. home alone board game value – It’s worth about $10-15 American dollars. The Home Alone 2 board game is worth roughly the same amount.

63. porn stars who look like little girls – Yeah… so I’ve forwarded your IP to Chris Hansen. If anyone else wants it, it’s 77.253.130.245.

64. monster party prototype – It’s unlikely we’ll ever see it. But if you want to see some cool unused sprites hidden in the game code, click here.

65. how to edit smb2j levels – I’m not telling you. You’re probably planning to make some retardedly hard ROM hack along the lines of Air or Super Mario Forever. Well, fuck you, hacks like those aren’t fun to play.

66. collateral damage creepy shower scene – Showering with your kids is wrong. So wrong.

This is not socially acceptable.

67. nintendo nes zelda sucks review – The Legend of Zelda does NOT suck! Put down the crack pipe.

68. there are three way money move in this world satan – What did I just say about crack pipes?

69. princess peach hentai – Awesome, another hentai search. Clearly, I should feel proud of the site that I’ve created here.

70. are you afraid of the dark stairs – Now that my cat’s dead, no. But when she was alive, that sneaky motherfucker would always sleep on the stairs in what I can only assume was an attempt to trip and kill me.

71. christmas ornament girls fucking – That sounds REALLY classy. Who do you think you are, Glenn Quagmire?

72. list of nes games – Abadox, Tetris, Bubble Bobble, Super Sprint, California Games, Shatterhand.

73. kyle stoneman facebook cake party pictures – It would seem this Kyle Stoneman character had quite the cake, party, and/or cake party. There are only 12 Kyle Stonemen on Facebook. Let’s see if we can’t find the correct one and get some cake.

74. how to do the pit fatality in mk1 – When it says FINISH HIM, uppercut your opponent. It’s so easy, even your mom could do it.

Technically, this isn't a fatality.

75. a little bigger than a mcdonalds happy meal – That would be the Mighty Kids Meal.

76. tony conigliaro resting place – He’s buried at Holy Cross Cemetery in Malden, MA.

77. mega man villains – I prefer Mega Man Legends.

78. nes game with yoyo – You’re most likely thinking of either StarTropics, Yo! Noid, or Rygar.

79. every thing zen – I don’t think so.

80. does brown give a better taste for cookies – Brown tastes terrible. You want to use cyan or dapple gray.

81. drinking old pepsi free – What sort of idiot would do that? Oh right, me.

82. sirron kcuhc dnif – Sknaht on.

83. games like rtype that were released on snes – Well, there were both Super R-Type and R-Type III. Are those games R-Typical enough for you?

84. mcdonalds pumpkin buckets – It’s October, already? I need to get my shit together and write something.

1986 McDonald's Halloween buckets.

85. grapes – I’ve been known to eat grapes. Seedless green grapes are where it’s at.

86. how to play kirby – Suck and spit, suck and swallow.

87. olivia d’abo – She’s aged pretty well. I was massively disappointed when they killed off her recurring character on Law & Order: Criminal Intent at the end of the seventh season.

88. queen elizabeth 1 tshirt with skull face – I’m pretty sure Queen Elizabeth I didn’t wear t-shirts. I didn’t know her personally though, so I can’t say for sure.

89. jodie sweetin – Remember kids, if you ever need crystal meth, you can always pretend you got clean, then take money from Christian groups to give motivational speeches about how Jesus helped you get clean. Then, you can spend that money on crystal meth. Then, you can sell the story about how you lied about being clean to the media and get even more money, money which will presumably also be spent on drugs. That is the Jodie Sweetin way.

90. instructions – 1) Read content on SydLexia.com 2) Repeat as necessary

91. judge wapner – He’s 90 years old and he’s still completely awesome.

92. facebook like button – Facebook certainly does have a like button. Please be sure to like SydLexia.com, as well as all its posts. Doing so will help the site’s search engine rankings.

93. i like to go swimming with bow legged women – And swim between their legs.

94. law of the west accolade – You can read the Valdronius review of the game HERE.

95. kara beth borden – November 14th will be the 5th anniversary of the murder of her parents, which means it’s about time for 4chan and/or Encyclopedia Dramatica to track her down and troll her until she cries. I do not endorse or approve of such behavior; I am simply making a prediction.

96. karnov – Karnov as a video game protagonist = meh. Karnov as a boss in Bad Dudes = awesome.

97. what is the best weapon to use against dr wily in megaman 1 – Fire Storm works best against Dr. Wily’s first form. Subsequently, Rolling Cutter, Fire Storm, and Thunder Beam are the only weapons that can damage Dr. Wily’s second form at all.

98. how to beat bosses in streets of rage – Punch and kick, use weapons when possible, and successfully evade their attacks.

99. cartoon series dead cat episode – You must be thinking of the short-lived 1997 series, The Adventures of Schrödinger. It only ran for one season, and I just made it up.

100. erin esurance being fucked in the ass while her clones watch – Erin was officially retired as the Esurance mascot back in June. However, she’s become an indestructible meme, and I fully expect to keep getting Erin Esurance hentai searches until I no longer have the patience to run this site. Don’t fret though, loyal readers, I have an awful lot of patience. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough patience to continue this post any further.
 

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

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Are You Afraid Of The Dark? http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/are-you-afraid-of-the-dark/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/are-you-afraid-of-the-dark/#comments Fri, 01 Oct 2010 19:15:04 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1775       It’s October, in case you didn’t notice. Why not get yourself psyched for Halloween by revisiting my synopses of all seven seasons of the classic Nickelodeon show? And if you’re hoping for some new content this October, worry not: there will definitely be some. But until new articles are released, you can click on the pictures below to enjoy some SydLexia.com classics from Halloweens past.


S1

S2

S3

S4

S5

S6

S7
]]> http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/are-you-afraid-of-the-dark/feed/ 1 Scars Of Mirrodin: A Review By Haddox http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/scars-of-mirrodin-a-review-by-haddox/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/scars-of-mirrodin-a-review-by-haddox/#comments Mon, 27 Sep 2010 22:13:38 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1726  

Haddox has updated his site.

 

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Rusty Trombone http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/rusty-trombone/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/rusty-trombone/#comments Thu, 23 Sep 2010 10:35:05 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1717
It’s meme time.

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Dr. Jeebus Gets A Makeover http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/dr-jeebus-gets-a-makeover/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/dr-jeebus-gets-a-makeover/#comments Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:31:48 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1708  


Dr. Jeebus has given his blog a complete overhaul and updated it with new content. Let him know what you think!

 

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Every New Show On NBC Sucks http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/every-new-show-on-nbc-sucks/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/every-new-show-on-nbc-sucks/#comments Tue, 21 Sep 2010 20:11:37 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1706  

Haddox has updated his site.

 

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I Take All Business Offers Seriously http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-take-all-business-offers-seriously/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-take-all-business-offers-seriously/#comments Mon, 16 Aug 2010 20:03:38 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1667       Every so often, I get link partnership requests from other websites. Unfortunately, very rarely are these offers legitimate. Most of the time, these offers come from sites that are barely two months old and that engage in businesses unrelated to SydLexia.com. For example, here’s an e-mail I received today. It appears as an image to avoid giving these fucking douchebags any actual links or the improved search engine placement that comes with links.
 

 
      Sarah, you dumb British whore, have you ever even looked at SydLexia.com? If you had, you’d know that I would not benefit in any tangible way from associating myself with a fucking bingo site, especially one that, according to Alexa, currently gets 1.3% of the traffic that my site does. There’s not a single goddam useful thing that I get out of this deal. And the worst part is that this isn’t even a link exchange! They’re offering to write some spammy bullshit about bingo for me that I can publish as “unique content” on my site with a link to their site at the bottom. Yeah… no fucking thanks. I already have BARRELS of unique and popular content created by myself and my trusted associates; I don’t need any fucking help. But I’m a courteous guy, so I replied. Here’s what I said:


I am very excited in this opportunity. As I’m sure you know, SydLexia.com
prominently features bingo and bingo-related merchandise, and I would very
much like to build relevant links with other bingo sites. This should
increase both of our bingo-related traffic tenfold. Please tell me more. As
you blokes say in England, pip pip cheerio, chin up, and keep muddling
through! If this partnership works out, I hope that someday we can take the
lift to the loo for some fish n’ chips and a little bit of how’s your mum.
Carry on then, and get back to me.

Your friend,
Syd Lexia, Bingo Enthusiast

 

I do hope to receive an expedient reply. If I do, I’ll be sure to share it. In the meantime, why not visit Use Bombs, Dark Maze Studios, SoldierHawk’s Emporium, and Day Of The Woman? Their links can be found in the sidebar, and they are all quite deserving of your traffic.

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DuckTales Is Impossible And Reality As We Know It Is A Giant Fucking Lie http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/ducktales-is-impossible-and-reality-as-we-know-it-is-a-giant-fucking-lie/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/ducktales-is-impossible-and-reality-as-we-know-it-is-a-giant-fucking-lie/#comments Tue, 10 Aug 2010 03:53:08 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1664
A new article is up.

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Fun With Search Engines #142: One Step Away From An Awesome Number http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/fun-with-search-engines-142-one-step-away-from-an-awesome-number/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/fun-with-search-engines-142-one-step-away-from-an-awesome-number/#comments Mon, 05 Jul 2010 18:18:58 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1563       Fun With Search Engines is still far behind where it needs to be, but I’m about to take a huge step towards rectifying that. Yes, it’s time once again for FWSE, the semi-recurring site feature where I review some of the keywords that brought visitors to this site. This Fun With Search Engines report is for the twenty week period beginning November 1st, 2009 and ending March 20th, 2010. As always, these are all real searches. Let’s go!

1. metroid taught me brains evil missiles – The quote you’re looking for is: “Samus taught us that a girl doesn’t need brains to be successful. Brains are giant, evil, and vulnerable to missiles.” It it from this article I wrote in 2006.

2. what supplements do porn stars take – Pineapple. Lots and lots of pineapple.

3. what the shit – Fuck if I know, bro. Fuck if I know.

4. destiny of an emperor syd lexia – Sadly, I have never reviewed Destiny of an Emperor and it didn’t make the 100 Best NES Games. It made my personal list, however, at #83.

5. friday the 13th game instruction booklet – Don’t die. Kill Jason. That’s pretty much it!

6. 1986 mcboo backet – Come on now! Seriously? “A” isn’t anywhere near “U” on the keyboard, so you can’t pretend it was typo. Learn to fucking spell.

7. scorpion mk spear – GET OVER HERE!

COME HERE!

8. three minute video of brutal n’ beastly fucking – I think I need to pray: Lord Jesus, please stop sending idiots to my site. Love, Syd. Amen.

9. best place to buy nes games – You can get them from Russia really cheap. But if you aren’t satisfied and send them back, the Russian government gets really fucking pissed. Oh wait, that’s children. My bad.

10. smb the lost levels – That’s old news. All the cool kids have moved on to crystal meth and THIS.

11. real gamers should knowLet’s all get up and dance to a song that was hit before real gamers were born. Though they were born a long, long time ago, real gamers should know. Real gamers should know!

12. best sega megadrive games – I’m sorry, I live in AMERICA. And in AMERICA, that console is called the Sega Genesis. You should call it that too; we probably saved your country’s ass in World War II. That, or we bombed the fuck out of you. Either way, our name for the Sega system is better.

13. rape ayumi – Do not rape Ayumi.

14. bucky o’hare gives me a headache – That’s nice, but… I don’t care?

15. alicyn sterling is she dead – Not according to IMDB or IAFD. However, porn legends Juliet Anderson and Jamie Gillis died in January and February respectively.

16. make a cake for michael jackson game – Michael Jackson is dead. I don’t think he wants cake.

17. snes games that aren’t well known – Here’s one. It’s called Mo Hawk & Headphone Jack. It’s not very good:

Stare. Stare at Mo Hawk's giant yellow crotch.

18. cupcake truck – Jesus Christ, what’s with you people and cake?

19. worst games by nintendo – Everything that isn’t Urban Champion, Wii Music, or Mario Party.

20. you told me i could trust you ross – Oh, I know this one! The Tale of the Pinball Wizard.

21. listen to the 12 pains of christmas song – I am so fucking done with that song.

22. how to make love like a porn star – A comprehensive guide can be found HERE.

23. kil jor bos game – I have no idea what that fucking means. BOS is the abbreviation for the Red Sox, Celtics, and Bruins on scoreboards. But KIL and JOR aren’t abbreviations for any cities or teams I’ve ever heard of. If you’re the worst speller in the entire fucking universe, I suppose it could this search could be kill your boss game. There are several flash games around the internet based on this premise. But if you can’t spell “kill your boss”, the only person you should be killing is yourself. Your boss isn’t mean; you’re a barely literate fuckwit and should be grateful to even have a job.

24. people staring at a dragon – That doesn’t sound prudent.

25. meaning of i was high on life but eventualy i built up a tolerance – It’s a drug joke.

26. mcnugget buddies – toys shaped like food are cruel, cruel tricks.

27. pedobear – This guy?

OVER 9000!

28. sebastian from little mermaid – When I was little, I used to think he was super cool. Apparently I was retarded.

29. is there a game that is like real life and you can have a car and house and a boyfrined – Good question. Why yes, there is! I can show you how to play it, too. I can also teach you how to spell “boyfriend”. But first, I’m going to need to see some ID.

30. school of athens album cover – That would be Use Your Illusion I, and to a lesser extent, Use Your Illusion II.

31. zelda dating guide – That remains one of my favorite things that I ever wrote.

32. infinite magic combos instant win – Here’s a good one: Pandemonium + Aluren + Enduring Renewal + Broodhatch Nantuko. You could also use Mogg Maniac instead of Broodhatch Nantuko. If you need this combo explained to you, you probably shouldn’t be playing it.

33. mario bros. birdo hentai porn – You people are so fucking weird.

34. this is a neutral area. all acts of hostilities are prohibited in this area. if violated, you will be attacked – That was going to be the official slogan of the SydLexia.com forums, but it’s not quite punchy enough.

35. are they making a new super mario bros. 2 – Didn’t they? Isn’t that what New Super Mario Bros. Wii is?

36. old cereal – This search is from December 7th, 2009. The searcher must have been prescient. Maybe it was Almighty God Himself.

37. birthday images – Use this:

You got BIRTHDAY CAKE.

38. are you afraid of the dark – Mildly.

39. wich game on super nintendo is best – I believe you mean “witch”.

40. sydlexia for the love of god update your site more than once a year – This search was done on February 28th at 3:22 EST from the DSi web browser. This had to be someone from the forums or Facebook. I want a confession! It did make me smile, though.

41. super mareyo bros – You people are seriously trying my fucking patience.

42. homestar runner updates – Here’s an idea: GO TO THE FUCKING SITE AND SEE IF THEY’VE UPDATED.

43. lazy stupid and godless – I am none of those things. Well, maybe lazy.

44. sailing – I’m sailing… away. Set an open course for the virgin… sea.

45. sesame street days – I prefer the short-lived series Sesame Street Nights, where Bert and Ernie had their own detective agency and beat up drug dealers in their pursuit of the evil crime lord Hoots the Owl.

46. printmaster software dosI did an article on this.

47. terrapin logo – I’m a fucking Logo master:

2 out of 2 dancing robots agree: I kick ass at Logo.

48. how much are my snes games worth – Not as much you hoped.

49. mega man 3 sucksIt sure does.

50. mario and peach doing it – I don’t know what it is.

51. top nes games – This is the most popular search on the site, so of course it gets included. Here’s your damn list.

52. deuterantagonist – Sadly, this isn’t a real word. But it looks like a real word, and it’s based on existing words. And in academia, you can make up your own words, so long as they serve a legitimate purpose and other people accept them. So the next time you have to write a scholarly paper on Transformers G1, refer to Starscream as the deuterantagonist.

53. popcorn – More like COP PORN, amirite?

54. most violent snes games – The original Mortal Kombat. You get to beat the sweat out of your opponents. That’s fucking HARDCORE.

55. monster party nes japan difference – The most important difference is that the Japanese version was never released and a complete version might not actually exist.

56. demotivational picsI have never made a demotivational poster in my entire life.

57. castlevania simon – I love that game!

Simon Extreme: Castlevania Edition.

58. solution to tokimeki checkin – The solution is not to play it.

59. syd lexia – Hate him, hate him, wouldn’t want to date him.

60. fuck ass afraid women – Fantastic. Searches like this sure do make me proud I run a website. Oh well, at least it’s not another damn hentai search.

61. sly cooper hentai – DAMMIT!

62. mega man atomic fire suit images – Sorry, only one Mega Man image per FWSE. I’d like to help you out, but rules are rules.

63. adventure island eggplant – Did you know that Adventure Island is one of several NES games to prominently feature eggplants? If you’d like to learn more, consult this article.

64. why do irate gamer’s reviews suck – I barely watch any video reviews, so I couldn’t tell you.

65. kevin mccallisterDouche McCallister is better.

66. people eye-boy the moi – I have no idea what that means. It came from a Russian search engine, so we’ll probably never know.

67. i love you – Oh?

Cobra Commander hates you.

68. aladdin subliminal message – Good teenagers… TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES!

69. best snes games ever made – Oh look, the second most popular search on SydLexia.com Once again, here’s the damn list.

70. advice to keep girls pornstars – If you want to keep a girl in the porn industry, constantly berate her. Make her feel like she wouldn’t be good at anything else and that she’ll never be able to lead a normal life. Also, if possible, get her hooked on drugs. Cocaine is the obvious choice, but anything will do.

71. greatest snes gamesRead our list.

72. list of every video game of the year – Which year?

73. how many levels does rodland have gameboy – 40 main stages and 4 boss battles, for a total of 44.

74. motley crue is band – They certainly are.

75. johnny carson wanted conan to replace him – Uh, no. Conan O’Brien was a 29-year-old nobody when Carson retired. Carson wanted Letterman to replace him.

76. i want to join club nintendoSo join it then.

77. geldra rolling thunder – GELDRA leader Maboo is amused by this search. Either that, or he’s chewing gum:

Maboo.

78. having a picnic in a graveyard – I’m dying to join you.

79. playsushi adware – PlaySushi’s site is filled with adware and worse. Stay the hell away from them and their bullshit.

80. make girls happy – Don’t be a douchebag.

81. where is nes games played – Um… on an NES?

82. what are some easy simple booby traps to set up outside – Easy there, Klebold and/or Harris. The FBI are on their way to your house as we speak.

83. what beam beats gravity man – Star Crash.

84. snes controller maintenance – Use it until it breaks then buy a new one on eBay.

85. necro critic – Necro Critic is a cool guy.

86. terminator 2 best scene ever – The best scene ever is the entire movie.

87. picture of a troll doll – Here:

Troll.

88. wii games – I could use more Wii games.

89. hell and fire were spawned to be released – Disagree.

90. dio sucks – Dislike.

91. shit – Disgusting.

92. oregon trail – Dysentery.

93. annoying songs – Disturbia.

94. your site sucks – Dissed.

95. streets of rage – Great game. I reviewed it back in 2005.

96. super mario enemies – Super Mario’s enemies are just like America’s enemies: numerous and weak-willed.

97. goldie hawn – On February 15th, this was the fourth most popular keyword search on SydLexia.com. What the fuck?

98. professor utonium – I miss Powerpuff Girls. What a great show.

99. jodie sweetin lori loughlin – One of them has done meth. Lots and lots of meth.

100. erin e-surance anime porn fucking – Surprise! Okay, I’ve had enough of this bullshit. I’m outta here.
 

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

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June Of Doom: Cereal 4 Of 4 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/june-of-doom-cereal-3-of-4-2/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/june-of-doom-cereal-3-of-4-2/#comments Thu, 01 Jul 2010 03:57:12 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1611

Cereal #4: The Addams Family
Cereal #3: Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal
Cereal #2: Slimer And The Real Ghostbusters
Cereal #1: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Cereal

TRANSMISSION COMPLETED.

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June Of Doom: Cereal 3 Of 4 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/june-of-doom-cereal-3-of-4/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/june-of-doom-cereal-3-of-4/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 03:36:09 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1603

Cereal #3: Cabbage Patch Kids Cereal
Cereal #2: Slimer And The Real Ghostbusters
Cereal #1: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Cereal

TO BE CONTINUED…

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June Of Doom: Cereal 2 Of 4 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/june-of-doom-cereal-2-of-4/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/june-of-doom-cereal-2-of-4/#comments Thu, 17 Jun 2010 03:55:57 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1598

Cereal #2: Slimer And The Real Ghostbusters
Cereal #1: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Cereal

TO BE CONTINUED…

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I Miss John Hughes. http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-miss-john-hughes/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/i-miss-john-hughes/#comments Wed, 16 Jun 2010 00:11:16 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1594

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Happy I-NaD! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/happy-i-nad/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/happy-i-nad/#comments Sun, 13 Jun 2010 05:43:41 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1589 Today is the 4th Annual International amirite Day!

Celebrate by being a complete douche.

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June Of Doom: Cereal 1 Of 4 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/june-of-doom-cereal-1-of-4/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/june-of-doom-cereal-1-of-4/#comments Thu, 10 Jun 2010 10:42:58 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1583

Cereal #1: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Cereal

TO BE CONTINUED…

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SydLexia.com’s June Of Doom! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/sydlexia-coms-june-of-doom/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/sydlexia-coms-june-of-doom/#comments Tue, 01 Jun 2010 10:01:10 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1577

Four weeks. Four long expired cereals. I just might die.

WILL SYD SURVIVE THE JUNE OF DOOM? STAY TUNED!

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Avril Lavigne Thinks Date Rape Is Complicated http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/avril-lavigne-thinks-date-rape-is-complicated/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/avril-lavigne-thinks-date-rape-is-complicated/#comments Tue, 25 May 2010 21:06:44 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1574  

Haddox has updated his site.

 

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10 Things On The NES That I Really Didn’t Need To See http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/10-things-on-the-nes-that-i-really-didnt-need-to-see/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/10-things-on-the-nes-that-i-really-didnt-need-to-see/#comments Sun, 09 May 2010 02:55:58 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1571
A new article is up.

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BustedTees Stole My Joke! http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/bustedtees-stole-my-idea/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/bustedtees-stole-my-idea/#comments Wed, 07 Apr 2010 00:57:40 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1547 A motivational poster I made on January 27th, 2010:
 

 

A new BustedTees shirt released on April 6th, 2010:
 

 

Hey assholes, why don’t you leave stealing other guys’ jokes to Carlos Mencia?

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The 100 Best Virtual Boy Games Ever http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/the-100-best-virtual-boy-game-ever/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/the-100-best-virtual-boy-game-ever/#comments Thu, 01 Apr 2010 08:01:04 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1559
A new article is up.

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Today, I Saw A Car Accident http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/today-i-saw-a-car-accident/ http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/today-i-saw-a-car-accident/#comments Sun, 14 Mar 2010 15:05:07 +0000 http://sitenews.sydlexia.com/?p=1542  

Haddox has updated his site.

 

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