It is time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site feature where I take a look at some of the keywords that visitors to the site typed into the search engines that brought them here. This FWSE report is for the week of April 22nd through April 28th. Begin transmission.

1. bridgette wilson fucking – Oh man, Pete Sampras is totally gonna kick your ass.

2. where are the zora flippers on zelda a link to the past – How the fuck am I supposed to know that shit? I’ve never played a video game in my entire life!

3. top 100 nes games – The only NES game I can think of with anywhere close to 100 tops is Mega Man 3. You can count them yourself:

4. i want to fuck melissa joan hart – Me too, but I want to do it purely for scientific reasons. I bet my friend $5 and all my Jurassic Park trading cards that if I came in her lazy eye, it would temporarily improve her depth perception.

5. syd lexia is a pokemon – Is that supposed to be some sort of insult? If it is, it’s not a very good one. See, in order to be effective insults have to MAKE SENSE.

6. pizza hut advertising noids – Two problems here. First, there was only Noid, unless you take the Yo! Noid video game as canon. Secondly, the Noid appeared in Domino’s commercials, not Pizza Hut ones.

7. playskool definitely dinosaurs – I love those things! Send me some.

8. psychological reason for playing attractive videogame characters – It’s probably out of loneliness, because you’re a sad little person who can’t get a date. That, or it’s just a simple matter of aesthetics.

9. why did they black out sub zero’s spine rip fatality in ultimate mk3 – There are two possiblities as to why that happened. Boon and Tobias received a lot of criticism for the violent fatalities in MK1 and MK2, and they tried to move away from that with MK3. As a result, many of the MK3 fatalities are a lot tamer than the ones in the first two games. So when Classic Sub-Zero was added into the Ultimate version of MK3, the Mortal Kombat team may have decided that his classic fatality was too violent and voluntarily censored it. The other possibility is that there simply wasn’t enough ROM space to include the full fatality. That may sound less plausible, but it’s not; the Animalities for the original MK3 characters were all rendered in monochrome due to memory issues.

10. dudes with attitudes best game ever – Begone foul demon! Return to the fiery pit from whence thou came!

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

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