March 24, 2007 – 1:49 PM by Syd Lexia

      Guess what? It’s once again time for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly site report where I take a look at some of the keywords that brought visitors to my site. This FWSE report is for the week beginning March 11th and ending March 17th.

1. kurtis stryker’s rocking page – Ah yes, the Stryker page. I haven’t checked Stryker’s e-mail in quite a while. I imagine it’s filled with spam, fan mail, and threatening letters from Captain Stabbin’s billing department. But mostly spam.

2. sly cooper hentai – NO MORE FUCKING HENTAI SEARCHES!!!

3. drink diet free pepsi cola in princess zelda vagina – I’m almost certain search was a plant. If it’s not, someone out there has some serious ass issues.

4. develop a game for the snes – You’re about ten years too late, kiddo. Why not develop a game for the GBA instead? It’s like a portable version of the SNES, and it will totally put out if you take it to the prom.

5. the real super mario world – You want to see a few screenshots of the REAL Super Mario World? Are you sure? Are you *really* sure? I warn you, these images will blow your fucking mind. Fine, you can see them. Prepare to be shocked:

It’s like a totally different game from the official U.S. release! That, or it’s exactly the same.

6. vulgarity in the grapes of wrath – I seem to recall the Okies being referred to as “shitheels” a few times, but aside from that, there wasn’t a whole lot of vulgarity. Steinbeck was above that. I, on the other hand, am not.

7. the duck game the one that can fly – I think it’s time for your meds.

8. lesson on how to play zelda on flute – There’s a flute that plays Zelda? That’s gotta be some flute.

9. batman cereal – And now, a shameless plug.

10. how much will nintendo 1985 teenage mutant ninja turtles game cost – That particular game will probably cost you upwards of $5 billion to obtain. First, you’re going to have hire a bunch of physicists and get them to scientifically prove that time travel is possible and define the mathematical circumstances under which it can be acheived. Then you’re going to hire some engineers to work with the physicists to develop and build a machine that’s capable of time travel. Once you have the actual time machine, you’re going to back in time to the early 80s, let’s say 1981, find two guys named Eastman & Laird, and help them to invent the Ninja Turtles and release the first TMNT comic three years before it debuted in our current timeline. Once the comic’s out, you’ll have to help them promote it and turn it into the merchandising juggernaut that it is today. If you are successful in doing this, you will almost definitely ensure that there’s a TMNT game available for the Nintendo Entertainment System when it launches in the United States on October 18, 1985. If you don’t have $5 billon dollars lying around, you can always play the 1989 Ninja Turtles game by Konami. The 1989 game is the earliest Nintendo TMNT game that exists in our current timeline and you can get it for like $6 on eBay. Oh, and it kinda sucks.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

You must be logged in to post a comment.