This is a birthday greeting I sent to one of my friends last week:
Feel free to steal it.
It is time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site feature where I review some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into various search engines. This FWSE report is for the week of August 27th through September 2nd. As always, these are all real searches. Let’s begin…
1. revolution x aerosmith video game – Every time someone finds my Revolution X article, it invigorates me and makes me wish I had more time to put into the site than I do. When I run the world, Revolution X’s status as a video game will be upgraded from steaming pile of crap to cult classic.
2. fuck me one more time – Which one are you again? I forget. Link me to your MySpace to refresh my memory, and we’ll continue negotiations from there.
3. random hentai – I’m normally against hentai because people who look at it are pathetic and stupid. But just this once, I’ll give you some free hentai:
4. i hate limited continues – I do too. But without limited continues, there’d be no real incentive for you to devise new strategies and learn to play better.
5. bomberman nude – I’m thinking….. NO.
6. poison november rain lyrics – Are you fucking shitting me? Poison? Poison didn’t fucking do “November Rain”. Poison’s big ballads were “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” and “Something To Believe In”, and while they were great songs, they weren’t “November Rain”. This sort of musical ignorance really pisses me off, but maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’ve seen too many incorrectly named mp3s on KaZaA and I’ve finally snapped.
7. go away you fucking scrollbar – An interesting idea. But without the scrollbar, how do you propose that we signify there is more to a webpage or document than is presently visible as well as gauge its length? And how shall we navigate lengthy pages without a scroll bar? If you can provide viable answers to all these questions, then maybe scrollbars will go away. If you can’t, then quit your whining, you fucking crybaby.
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.
Steve Irwin, 1962 – 2006
I awoke this morning and read to my disbelief that Steve Irwin had been killed by a stingray at the age of 44. Unfortunately, it’s true. Sure his feature length movie sucked balls, but Irwin was a damn cool guy. He wrestled crocodiles, he had his own TV show, and oh yeah, he owned and operated his own zoo. He was a bit goofy, but he got to pursue his true passions every single day of his life and he was handsomely rewarded for it. How many of the stupid pricks who have vandalized his Wikipedia page in the last several hours can say that? Probably none; they can barely string together coherent sentences. So to all the Irwin haters out there, fuck you. You’re all worthless lazy trash and you’ll never be one tenth as successful as Steve. To Steve’s family, I offer my condolences. His two young children will never again see his smiling face.
Rest in peace, Steve Irwin. You kicked ass.