Archive for November, 2006
November 29, 2006 – 12:34 PM by Syd Lexia

      It’s time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site report where I review some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into various search engines. This FWSE report is for the two week period starting November 12th and ending November 25th. As always, these are all real searches. Let’s begin…

1. erin esurance sex – In case you’re unaware, Erin Esurance is a character from a series of commercials for Esurance, an online auto insurance company:

This means the internet has hit two new all-time lows. First, people are searching for nude pics of a cartoon character from a CAR INSURANCE commercial. Secondly, there are actually some out there.

2. dos mortal kombat and special moves – If the DOS version of Mortal Kombat is anything like the DOS version of Street Fighter II, then you should probably just delete it.

3. fairly odd parents porn – Searching for porn starring your parents isn’t fairly odd; it’s completely fucked up.

4. – Clerks II, available now wherever DVDs are sold.

5. fatality list for mk2 – The Mortal Kombat Fatality Extravaganza is still going strong, but it has been eclipsed in popularity by 100 Best NES Games Ever project.

6. top 100 nes games – If you thought one cheap plug for the 100 Best NES Games Ever page per FWSE was enough, you were wrong.

7. unblockable porn – This keeps showing up in the logs, so I might as well give the people what they want:

8. alien fuck games – Finally, a serious question. One of the most popular fuck games in the Retta’ar galaxy is known as Jaxxor. The rules are simple. First, you find a willing female and wrap a Grelnek belt around her. Then, you each take turns trying to quock her nuknok. This game is generally played at birthday parties and inaugurations.

9. girls eat shit – They do? She told me it was just morning breath! THAT BITCH! :rant: :rant: :rant:

10. is the construction industry fucked – After the way they fucked up the Big Dig and fucked over Massachusetts taxpayers, I sure hope so. It would be nice to see the tables turned.

11. how girls are pratically fucking by boys – Yeah I hate how that is happening. At least, I would if I had any fucking clue what the hell you were talking.

12. I hate legends of the hidden temple – Here’s Olmec with a rebuttal:

13. how many zapper guns can you use nes duck hunt – You can only use one gun. However, if the game is on Mode A, you can use the controller in the first slot to control the ducks and dick over the person shooting at them.

14. space channel 5 hentai – I seriously doubt there’s any Space Channel 5 hentai out there. If there is, this search won’t end well. After all, Michael Jackson is in the game.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

November 28, 2006 – 12:37 AM by Syd Lexia

An epic battle is currently taking place in my forums, one that pits 24 of my forum members against 24 mediocre video game characters in battle for total dominance. Who will win? Find out in the Character Battle!

November 24, 2006 – 8:26 PM by Syd Lexia

      Kirby, pictured above in a file photo from September 2005, has finally decided to return for the 25th installment of the NES Drinking Saga. Why now? Why not!

November 23, 2006 – 9:49 AM by Syd Lexia

      Franksgiving is the same day for everyone, so I don’t want to hear any bitching from you damn dirty Canadians that I’m over a month too late with these holiday wishes.

November 22, 2006 – 12:38 PM by Syd Lexia

      The McDonald’s Halloween Pails article has been updated to include the 1990 and 1992 pail sets. Enjoy. In case anyone was wondering, I will not be adding the 1994, 1999, or 2001 sets at any point. They suck.

November 19, 2006 – 11:30 AM by Syd Lexia

      Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly report where I take a look at some of the queries that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This FWSE report is for week of November 5th through November 11th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. www.2d play – Whatever site you were looking for is totally gay, unless it was If it wasn’t www.2d-sprites, go there instead.

2. cartoon president dead – Bill Clinton and Gerald Ford are both alive well…

3. dorothy lemay naked – I don’t know where you’d find that. Maybe you could try ANY MOVIE SHE WAS EVER IN.

4. preteens free pics – Did you try the JCPenney website? How about their fall catalogue? Oh, you meant underage pornography. Try this then: KILL YOURSELF NOW.

5. why pepsi blue failed – People didn’t buy it.

6. sigourney weaver galaxy quest tits – Sigourney Weaver was fifty when she did Galaxy Quest. Yes, you read that right… FIFTY. I’d still do her though.

7. babes you’d like to fuck – You looking for suggestions for girls to fantasize about having sex with? That just screams closet homosexual. That’s the type of subject matter you Google when you want to win the acceptance of those guys who are always hanging out in the dorm lounge playing pool and watching local sport teams on the big screen TV. Sooner or later, they’re going to ask you what celebrities you want to nail and you damn well better be able to rattle off a list of twenty names without hestitation and without accidentally naming Johnny Depp or Liza Minelli, because then they’ll think you’re gay. Because you are. Dammit, I should have left this one for Haddox.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

November 11, 2006 – 11:11 AM by Syd Lexia

November 8, 2006 – 11:32 AM by Syd Lexia

      Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site report where I review some of the keywords that brought visitors to my site. This FWSE report is for the two week period starting October 22nd and ending November 4th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. princess peach porn – Nice use of alliteration!  PS: You’re still a loser.

2. don’t ever get it wet keep it away from bright light and no matter how much it cries no matter how much it begs -never ever feed it after midnight – Ah yes, the rules for proper vagina maintenance.

3. drunk driving poster – This is the site’s official drunk driving poster:

4. best snes games – I’d like to eventually do a Top 100 SNES Games list to compliment the Top 100 NES Games list, but it’ll probably be quite a while before I am able to do so. But here’s a preliminary top five list:

1. A Link To The Past
2. A Link To The Past
3. A Link To The Past
4. ActRaiser
5. A Link To The Past

5. global guts – Earth’s insides are actually quite unimpressive:

6. happy thanksgiving – Not yet, asswipe.

7. fairly odd parents porn – I tried to ignore this search, but it was seriously one of the top 20 searches every day between October 22nd and November 4th. And while I find this to be disturbing in and of itself, the horribleness is multiplied by ten due to the fact the show is called The Fairly OddParents and not The Fairly Odd Parents.

8. kurt cobain – believed gun ownership was an inalienable right.

9. coke vs pepsi taste test – Pepsi is generally considered to be sweeter than Coke, which is why it overwhelmingly beats Coke in taste tests when participants are given a quick swig of each drink. However, people tend to prefer Coke’s taste in the long run, as indicated by its higher market share.

10. the name of the lead actor in the movie the bloodeningThe Bloodening wasn’t even a real movie! It was from an episode of The Simpsons. Specifically, it was from S10E11, an episode entitled “Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken. The production code was AABF07. If you really need to know the name of a fake actor from a parody of Village of the Damned, you can either find the episode on a P2P network or you can wait until Season Ten gets released on the DVD. However, I should point out that since no answer to your question exists on, The Simpsons Archive. This means one of two things:

1. The fake movie didn’t have fake credits
2. You’re a bigger dork than even the most diehard Simpsons fans.

11. how to fuck up someone’s car – Hmmm… that’s a tough one. Have you tried a sledgehammer?

12. nes cartoon guy goes into game – That would be Captain N: The Gamemaster.

13. NES game island yoyo – That would be StarTropics.

14. sheeva mortal kombat hentai – Pass.

      That’s enough for now. Hopefully I’ll have a new article for you tomorrow. I know I’m not particularly good at delivering upon these promises, which is why I used the qualifier hopefully. But seriously, it’ll happen. Hopefully.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

November 3, 2006 – 8:21 PM by Syd Lexia

      It’s hard to believe, but has been up for two full years now. Thanks to everyone who has visited the site since that fateful day when I put up my Revolution X article. I’d like to especially thank everyone who has written to me over these two years and of course, my loyal forum members. Without your support, there’d be no site.