Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly site report where I review some of the keywords that brought visitors to my site. This FWSE report is for the week beginning May 13th and ending May 19th. As always, these are all real searches.
1. riff raff was a pimp – Fuck yeah!
2. myspace screenshots – If you want to take a screenshot of MySpace, hit the Print Screen key. Then open MS Paint and you’ll be able to paste the image into the blank form thus allowing you to edit and/or save it. If those directions aren’t good enough for ya, then go fuck yourself; you completely suck at computers and you don’t deserve to have screenshots of your shitty MySpace page. Speaking of MySpace, add me. Now.
3. erin esurance nude – I was trying not to include this, but it keeps showing up in the fucking site logs and I’m sick of trying to find something more interesting.
4. syd lexia aids – According to some cranky mongloid on StumbleUpon, my site is less funny than AIDS. If AIDS wasn’t so damn hilarious, I might be offended.
5. moonwalker gif animation – Fuck that. Here’s an Altered Beast GIF animation instead:
6. monster party prototype – I would be willing to kill millions, no BILLIONS, of people, if it meant that I would get my grubby hands on a copy of the Japanese prototype of Monster Party. Heck, I don’t even need an exact location; just give me a compass bearing and the rampage can begin.
7. scorp boon an bomal boty – I have no fucking clue what this means, but I seriously doubt this person was looking for the Mortal Kombat page that came up.
8. how to convince a girl to blow you – Ask her nicely.
9. centipede board game – I’m the #2 result for this search on Yahoo, right under a Wikipedia entry on the VIDEO GAME. On Google, I’m the #1 result. My review of the Centipede board game attracts more traffic than you might think, which is to say it nets me significantly more than zero hits per week.
10. play snake rattle and roll – That’s a good idea, I think I will. I’m outta here.
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.