It is time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the popular site feature where I take a look at some of the keywords that vistors to my site typed into various search engines. This FWSE report is for the four week period beginning July 27th and ending August 23rd. As always, these are all real searches. And away we go….
1. must have nes games – That was the best John Cusack movie ever.
2. salute your shorts characters – If my memory serves me correctly, there was Sponge, Donkeypunch, Mumbly Joe, Stinky Pete, Gilligan, and the rest.
3. it’s a trap – It certainly is.
4. you tyop fuck man and girl – I’ll take the girl, assuming she’s of legal age. Tyop can have the man. Sorry man, but since it’s my site, I get first pick.
5. kara beth borden – Kara Borden took her phone and snuck out of her parents’ home. When they found what she had done, her boyfriend killed them with a gun.
6. detective robert goren – I prefer Detective Mike Logan. And now he’s gone. Fuck you, Dick Wolf.
7. green flying aliens are they real – I don’t know. Call in to the Coast to Coast AM radio show and ask George Noory. If you’re really lucky, maybe Art Bell will be hosting.
8. cereal smells like cardboard – So does your face.
9. whomp ‘em – In Soviet Russia, ‘em whomp YOU!
10. i’m just soggy from the chemo – I’m soggy from being immersed in milk.
11. sigourney weaver’s tits in galaxy quest – As I recall, the rest of her body was in that movie too.
12. how to beat bald bull the fucking cheater – Bald Bull is wicked easy. You suck.
13. peach gives mario a blowjob – Not unless he gives her a shitload of coins.
14. mistress helga – Kerri Hoskins is awesome.
15. amber lynn – Please retire, kthx.
16. camp lazlo yaoi – Gayest. Search. Ever.
17. nintendo games list – List of Nintendo Games (Incomplete):
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
18. ronald mcdonald fucking wendy – I got a better idea: me fucking your girlfriend. Oh wait, you’re searching for burger-related hentai. YOU DON’T HAVE ONE.
19. kill your idols – In Soviet Russia, your idols kill YOU! Actually, that’s a pretty fair portrait of Stalinism.
20. i want genesis roms – In Soviet Russia, putting three Yakov Smirnoff jokes in one FWSE is hilarious instead of lazy!
21. game where you walk around and get a skateboard – There’s not really any walking in any Tony Hawk games, so I’m gonna go with Adventure Island.
22. slurp – That’s the sound your mom makes.
23. megaman all bosses – You know, I’d like to explain my response to #22, in case you didn’t understand it. See, slurp is the sound your mom makes when she swallows. Semen, that is. After doing stuff to my penis. With her mouth. Makes sense, right?
24. best nes game overs – Being as I’m a helpful guy, here’s the complete opposite of what you wanted: Bullshit NES Endings!
25. official space channel 5 hentai – I could be wrong here, but I’m pretty sure there’s no official Space Channel 5 hentai.
26. superman – More like BORINGman, amirite?
27. alexx the kid sega – Clearly you mean THIS.
28. erin esurance nude – Big surprise.
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.