It’s time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly report where I reveal some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. Also, I comment on them. This FWSE report is for the week of April 9th – April 15th. Enjoy.
1. xanga hannah lititz pa – Every time I see something involving Lititz, PA, I assume that it has to due with David Ludwig and/or Kara Beth Borden. However, this time it looks like it’s just some boy looking to stalk a girl named Hannah who lives in Lititz. So Hannah, if you’re reading this, be on your guard for psychopaths.
2. grossest naked images – Anything involving fat people, old people, badly damaged rectums, or bodily waste.
3. kara borden myspace – Oh my god, I just mentioned her a minute ago! What ever happened to her? Oh wait, I don’t really care. Well, I care in the sense that I don’t wish any further harm upon her or her family, but I don’t lie awake at night wondering if she’s OK. No, I lie awake at night wondering why the writers of 24 have turned season 5 into a total crapfest and if they’re smoking crack. If they are, they damn well better send some my way.
4. slime – By itself, the word slime could be a reference to many things. There are two things that I closely associate with slime. The first one is the green slime that was dumped on people who said “I don’t know!” on You Can’t Do That On Television. The second one is this:
5. professor utonium – The Powerpuff Girls was a solid show and Mojo Jojo was fucking badass. I wish PPG was still on, because most of Cartoon Network’s current cartoons suck. I’m looking at you, Codename: Kids Next Door and you, Camp Lazlo.
6. mario and peach porn – You know what? Fine. You hentai-loving bastards can’t be reasoned with, so I give up. I’ll give you some SMB porn. The catch is that I’ve edited out the naughty parts:
7. revolution x snes kill last boss – Do not, under ANY circumstances, play the SNES version of Revolution X. You should probably avoid it on the Genesis, Saturn, and PlayStation as well. Stick to the arcade version.
That’s it for now, check the site later in the week, when there will be *actual* content. Well, unless I fuck around instead. And actually, there’s a pretty strong possibility that might happen.