So I’m back once again with yet another installment of Fun With Search Engines. For those as of yet uninitiated, Fun With Search Engines is a weekly report where I chronicle various keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. These keywords generally range from stupid to boring to porn to illegal porn. This FWSE report is for the week beginning October 9th and ending October 15th. As always, these are all real searches. And by real, I mean that I didn’t make them up. I can’t guarantee that rowdy fans didn’t intentionally plant them.

1. wizards and warriors nes tips – Seeing as you get infinite continues, the only real tip you need is this: don’t give up.

2. ryu spinning kick sounds weird – Compared to what?

3. post short skirts japanese schoolgirls – Did you really need specify short skirts? Have you ever seen Japanese schoolgirls in any other type of skirts? I mean really. There’s always at least a foot of space between the knee and skirt.

4. duck and longevity – What the fuck? No wait, nevermind. I don’t care.

5. download wwf randy savage theme song – You’re kidding, right? As most non-retards who have heard Randy Savage’s entrance music know, the song is called Pomp And Circumstance. They fucking play it every high school graduation ceremony and there’s probably about 1,000 places where you could download it. But not here, so fuck off.

6. clouds that throw koopas in Super Mario – You’re either playing a hack or you don’t know shit about Mario. There are no clouds that throw koopas. There is however, Lakitu, an evil son of a bitch who flies around in a magic cloud throwing Spinies at Mario. Below you can see what Lakitu looked like in SMB1. He’s evolved over the years as graphic capabilities have gotten better, but the basic design is still the same.

7. nintendo zelda tips – Ooh, sorry. This site only hosts tips for Wand of Gamelon, the Zelda game for the Phillips CD-i machine.

So that’s that. If that didn’t entertain you, the latest comic probably won’t either. Read it anyway.