God, I fucking hate Rachael Ray. Not only does she have an incredibly annoying voice, but every word out of her mouth is idle chatter. Listening to Rachael Ray talk is like listening to a teenage girl tell you about her day at junior high school; nothing she has to say is remotely interesting, but she keeps on talking anyway. The worst part is, Rachael Ray is everywhere. She has 5 television shows, her own magazine, and she’s currently starring in a series of Nabisco ads. But now she’s gone too far. The other day I walked into my local supermarket and saw this:

      Yes, now Rachael Ray can be seen in gigantic fucking floor displays at a supermarkets everywhere. This sickens me, so am I extending an open challenge to everyone out there: Bring Me The Head Of Rachael Ray! Actually, bring me her whole upper torso. I need a new dartboard, and Rachael Ray would be perfect. If you enjoy the site, this would be a nice way to repay me. I’ve kept SydLexia.com free of banner ads and other crap, so give me head. No, not like that. If you are able to procure Rachael Ray, contact me.

NOTE: SydLexia.com’s Bring Me The Head Of Rachael Ray Challenge is not a contest. Furthermore, SydLexia.com does not endorse the employment of any illegal activities or tactics in the challenge. This list of activities includes but is not limited to theft, murder, and rape.