Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly site feature where I take a look at some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into various search engines. This FWSE report is for the week of April 28th through May 5th. As always, these are all real searches. Let’s begin…

1. princess peach porn – As far as alliterative hentai searches go, this is considerably better than big bowser butts. It’s still pretty sad though.

2. suck – The most common definition:

 
3. fat mullets – A mullet can’t be fat, only the person who sports it… and anyone who still has a mullet in 2007 probably is.

4. megaman how to kill bombman – I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if you can’t kill Bombman with your basic gun, you kinda suck at Mega Man. And if you can’t figure out that Fire Storm is Bombman’s weakness, you REALLY suck at Mega Man.

5. fisting punishment game – Gross.

6. fucking scenes from hollywood movies – When Beavis realized he was “never gonna score” in his classic feature length animated adventure, he made a fucking scene.

7. how they make mcdonalds happy meals – Easy, they take a regular McDonald’s cheeseburger, a small fries, and a fun promotional toy, and throw them in a nicely decorated box or bag. These days, kids usually get a bag because it’s cheaper. They also give you a small drink on the side.

8. hulk hogan album – That would be Hulk Rules:

 
9. larisa oleynik clarissa explains it all – Larisa Oleynik never appeared on Clarissa Explains It All. However, she starred in The Secret World Of Alex Mack and I would mack on that girl something fierce.

10. mario fucks peach – I always assumed they were saving themselves for marriage.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.