Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly site report where I take a look at some of the keywords that brought visitors to my site. This FWSE report is for week of July 22nd through July 28th. As always, these are all real searches. Here we go…

1. the super nintendo game with a little guy fighting house objects – With any luck, it’s Earthbound, because Earthbound is one of the greatest games ever made. This might not be the game you’re thinking of though, because you don’t exactly fight household objects. However, you do fight gas pumps, fire hydrants, guitars, coffee cups, trees, lips, puke, and a host of other oddly mundane enemies. But again, even if Earthbound wasn’t the game you were thinking of, play it, because it’s inevitably better than whatever pile of shit you were actually thinking of.

2. elizabeth hurley raised catholic – Her mother was Anglican and her father was a non-praticing Catholic, so she was probably raised Anglican. This is quite a shame, because if Bedazzled taught us anything, it’s that Elizabeth Hurley makes a damn good Catholic schoolgirl:

 
3. stop motion animation sesame street whale – Could it be THIS?

4. how to do a fatality – Stick a fork in a light socket. FATALITY!

5. sean connery uncredited prince of thieves – Did you really need to look this up? I mean, did you watch the movie and think to yourself, “Gee, that guy who showed up at the end looked exactly like Sean Connery. I’m not sure if it was him though, and I didn’t see his name in the credits.” That sort of thing is forgiveable with some actors, like an Alan Arkin or a Jonathan Pryce, but this is SEAN FUCKING CONNERY that we’re talking about. If you have trouble recognizing Sean Connery, you simply don’t deserve to watch films. End of story.

6. charles in charge t shirt – Never seen one, but I am definitely adding it to the Grand List of Things You Could Buy For Me If You Like The Site.

7. viagra – Well… that’s a new one. If you were looking to buy viagra, too fucking bad; this is a pop culture site, not some goddam online store. But if you’re looking for a highly inaccurate explanation of how viagra works done entirely using 8-bit sprites, then you’re in luck:

 
8. bowser and luigi sex – Gross.

9. shawn wayan naked pictures – Grosser.

10. erin esurance hentai – Fuck this, I’m outta here.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.