Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the (theoretically) weekly site feature where I take a look at some of the keywords that brought visitors to my site. This FWSE report is for the week beginning December 9th and ending December 15th. As always, these are all real searches. Let’s begin…

1. to hell with sesame street – Hey now. Sesame Street may have ruined my life, but it’s still pretty awesome.

2. golden book animals christmas eve – Let’s see, did I ever read a Golden Book called The Animals’ Christmas Eve? Like a motherfuckin’ motherfucker.

3. are there any hentai involving food – Well, people eat squid and octopus, so I guess you could count any hentai that involves tentacles as food-related. Oh yeah, and there’s probably some Veggie Tales hentai out there too.

4. stone crab christmas ornament – I’d rather have a Stone Roses Christmas ornament.

5. fuck everything t-shirts – I agree. I fucking hate those things.

 
6. cold november rain – Hey asshole, it’s December.

7. girl in christmas costume gets fucked – I’m pretty sure that Naughty America is all over that.

8. father christmas bowling game – Uh, could it be Elf Bowling? You know, the greatest Christmas-themed game ever made? If you’re thinking of Elf Bowling, you’re probably thinking of POINTLESS BULLSHIT. Play Elf Bowling instead.

 
9. erin esurance sex – Die, motherfucker.

10. best snes games – What better way to end this than with a cheap plug?

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.