It’s time once again for Fun With Search engines, the recurring SydLexia.com site report where I do a rundown of some of the keywords that site visitors typed into various search engines. None of these, no matter how stupid or bizarre they may seem, have been faked by me; I have *slightly* better things to do with my time. This FWSE report covers the week starting 7/17 and ending 7/23. Enjoy!

1. drinking old soda – Drinking old soda is a lot like teenage suicide. (Don’t do it!)

2. the real super mario bros three – Nice try, but Super Mario Bros. 2 is the only Mario game to have significantly different releases in the US and Japan. There is but one game called Super Mario Bros. 3 and Muhammad is its prophet. Or something like that.

3. turn them into a baby – That’s not a complete sentence or even complete thought. Turn WHO into a baby? I want to know. I hope this isn’t part of some stupid Wiccan incantation or some shit like that. I fucking hate Wiccans.

4. sydlexia dissect – Is that a threat? IS THAT A FUCKING THREAT!? Don’t mess with me, junior. I will kick your ass so hard that it flies up through your stomach into your head and explodes. Then you’ll be dead & smelly and no one will go to your funeral. Ha.

5. will kids incorporated ever be released on dvd? – With any luck, no. There are much better things can and should be released on DVD instead. Things that people like me would actually buy. Things like The State. Things like The Monster Squad.

6. best music videos ever – Maybe someday I’ll do that list, but it probably won’t be anytime soon. Until then, you’ll have to find someone else to tell you what’s cool and what isn’t. Or you could think for yourself. Just a thought.

7. did disturbed do a song about metroid – No. Some jackass using the pseudonymn Disturbed did a cover of the Kraid theme from the original NES Metroid game. It’s a decent track, but the fucker either didn’t realize that there’s a popular rock band called Disturbed or he hoped the confusion caused by using the same name would garner him additional attention. I guess it has. Perhaps the real Disturbed will turn up the soundtrack for next year’s Metroid movie. Of course, Nine Inch Nails would be a much better choice because Trent Reznor is better at atmospheric music and he’s a fan of the franchise.
 
 
That’s all. Go back to your homes.