First of all, Part 18 of the NES Drinking Saga is up on the Comics page. Secondly, it’s time for your weekly dosage of FWSE. As always, these are real keywords that visitors to the site typed into search engines. This report spans the week of August 14 – August 20. Let’s begin:

1. i hate nes battletoads – The game is frustratingly hard, yes. But it always kept you coming back for more.

2. who did the evil laugh on michael jackson thriller – That would be Vincent Price. Maybe you ought to familiarize yourself with allmusic.com, one of the best online music resources there is. That, or you could have bought the album and looked at the goddam liner notes. Say what you will about Wacko Jacko, but Thriller fucking kicks ass.

3. kristen cavalleri college decision – Why, are you stalking her? Are you going to pick what college you go to based on what Kristin picks? Or is your life just so sad that you genuinely care where some reality star goes to school? Either way, you should probably kill yourself. NOW.

4. mtv destroyed the music industry – The only thing that MTV destroyed was itself. MTV’s lack of music-related programming as well as their heavily playlisted video shows have rendered them almost obsolete within the music industry. With the rise of internet sites like MySpace, bands are able to find potential fans and music lovers are able to find new bands that might interest them; MTV has falled to the wayside. MTV was a good idea, but they totally sold out after grunge self-destructed in the mid-90s. Bring back all videos all the time and fuck the reality shit.

5. how come wwe programs sucks these days – Because over the last several years Vince decided to hire a bunch of Hollywood writers who know a hell of lot more about sitcoms than they do about wrestling. A lot more time is spent developing storylines and onscreen personalities than is spent planning matches that are actually entertaining to watch. The only truly worthwhile thing the WWE has produced in recent memory is the ECW One Night Stand PPV.

6. arnold cumming gym – Fucking gross, dude. That was totally uncalled for.

7. fight his geriatric father – I have no idea what this person was looking for, but when you search for those words as a string, my Street Fighter article is the only result. Score!

And we’re done. Go away. Then come back. Later.