Welcome once again to Fun With Search Engines, the weekly report where I show you some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This FWSE report is for the week starting October 2nd and ending October 8th. As always, I have not made any of these up. There’s no NEED to make them up because humans are awful.

1. mario bros fuck princess peach porn – First of all, no! Bad! Secondly, only Mario gets to bone Princess Peach. Luigi is a total scrub and there’s no way Mario would let him get in on some Eiffel Tower action.

2. horrible shit – Sorry, my site’s content is only mildly offensive. If you’re looking for the Death By Bukkake Rape-a-thon, look elsewhere.

3. public fucked – While I’m sure it has no shortage of nooks and crannies into which one could stuff his dick, you can’t really fuck Publix because a supermarket is an inanimate object.

4. free kitana hentai mileena – I’m sick of talking about hentai, so here’s an unreasonably childish diatribe about why Ted Kennedy is worse than Hitler instead.

5. what does conor obrest do in his spare time? – Your mom. And then he totally brags about it to God.

6. can you make heroin from standard sugar? I forget – This is almost definitely a plant, but it’s still hilarious.

7. is stephen coletti dead – Of course not. Here something I’ve learned: don’t wish death upon celebrities because it always backfires. No one who deserves to die ever does… it always ends up being Cliff Burton, Princess Di, or Brandon Lee instead of Rosie O’Donnell.

And we’re done. Oh, and Part 21 of The NES Drinking Saga is up.