And I’m back once again with yet another edition of Fun With Search Engines, the weekly report where I look at some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This FWSE report covers the week starting December 4th and ending December 10th. As always, these are all real searches…

1. mortal kombat kung lao toy – There are several Kung Lao action figures out there. Hell, there’s even a collector’s edition of Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks that comes with both Liu Kang and Kao Lung figures. But who cares? Until someone makes a Kung Lao figure with amazing hat-throwing action, what’s the point?

2. kara borden myspace profile pics – What’s this? Someone searching for information that might offer them insight into the lives of Kara Borden and David Ludwig instead of porn? Well, here’s an archive of mirrors that you might find helpful.

3. nude photos of kara beth borden and david ludwig – DAMMIT!

4. see videos of mario peach fucking each other for free – For free? Fuck you. Gimme 20 blue coins and a couple of shine sprites, then we’ll talk.

5. describe the heathcliff’s appearance and character – Except for that bizarrely placed article, I would assume that you’re supposed to be reading Wuthering Heights, but you’re too lazy to actually do so. And if Wuthering Heights wasn’t the worst fucking book ever written, I’d be inclined to chastise you.

6. shawn wayans has personal philosophy – I know he’s not exactly the smartest guy who ever lived, but of course he has a personal philosophy. News flash: EVERYONE has a personal philosophy. Shawn’s philosophy is this: make cheap, shitty movies that are commercially successful in urban areas and make millions of dollars in the process.

7. teamwork in pop culture – What the fuck kind of a search is this? I mean, come on. Teamwork is everywhere in pop culture: Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga, The Fellowship of the Ring, Tango & Cash, the list goes on. But the best example of teamwork in pop culture is The Smurfs. Those blue little commie bastards were all about sharing and shit. But hey, they were still slightly less gay than The Littl’ Bits, The Care Bears and The Snorks.

And we’re done. A new article will be up by Sunday, but hopefully a little sooner. Until then, there’s always the forums.