Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring SydLexia.com site report where I review some of the keywords that brought visitors to my site. This FWSE report is for the two week period starting October 22nd and ending November 4th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. princess peach porn – Nice use of alliteration!  PS: You’re still a loser.

2. don’t ever get it wet keep it away from bright light and no matter how much it cries no matter how much it begs -never ever feed it after midnight – Ah yes, the rules for proper vagina maintenance.

3. drunk driving poster – This is the site’s official drunk driving poster:

 
4. best snes games – I’d like to eventually do a Top 100 SNES Games list to compliment the Top 100 NES Games list, but it’ll probably be quite a while before I am able to do so. But here’s a preliminary top five list:

1. A Link To The Past
2. A Link To The Past
3. A Link To The Past
4. ActRaiser
5. A Link To The Past

5. global guts – Earth’s insides are actually quite unimpressive:

 
6. happy thanksgiving – Not yet, asswipe.

7. fairly odd parents porn – I tried to ignore this search, but it was seriously one of the top 20 searches every day between October 22nd and November 4th. And while I find this to be disturbing in and of itself, the horribleness is multiplied by ten due to the fact the show is called The Fairly OddParents and not The Fairly Odd Parents.

8. kurt cobain – believed gun ownership was an inalienable right.

9. coke vs pepsi taste test – Pepsi is generally considered to be sweeter than Coke, which is why it overwhelmingly beats Coke in taste tests when participants are given a quick swig of each drink. However, people tend to prefer Coke’s taste in the long run, as indicated by its higher market share.

10. the name of the lead actor in the movie the bloodening – The Bloodening wasn’t even a real movie! It was from an episode of The Simpsons. Specifically, it was from S10E11, an episode entitled “Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken. The production code was AABF07. If you really need to know the name of a fake actor from a parody of Village of the Damned, you can either find the episode on a P2P network or you can wait until Season Ten gets released on the DVD. However, I should point out that since no answer to your question exists on SNPP.com, The Simpsons Archive. This means one of two things:

1. The fake movie didn’t have fake credits
2. You’re a bigger dork than even the most diehard Simpsons fans.

11. how to fuck up someone’s car – Hmmm… that’s a tough one. Have you tried a sledgehammer?

12. nes cartoon guy goes into game – That would be Captain N: The Gamemaster.

 
13. NES game island yoyo – That would be StarTropics.

 
14. sheeva mortal kombat hentai – Pass.

      That’s enough for now. Hopefully I’ll have a new article for you tomorrow. I know I’m not particularly good at delivering upon these promises, which is why I used the qualifier hopefully. But seriously, it’ll happen. Hopefully.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.