Tragedy has struck Massachusetts. On Good Friday, one of the most holy of days in one of the most Catholic of states, a brutal murder occurred. The victim? The orange T-Rex at Route One Miniature Golf and Batting Cages in Saugus:

<

      For 47 years, the 12 foot dinosaur has been a revered landmark among Massachusetts commuters. That ended sometime Friday night. While others were awaiting the resurrection of Christ, a group of savage vandals were causing the destruction of a beloved piece of Americana. The dinosaur was hit over and over again until the force from the beating caused it to snap off at the legs. This was the scene Monday morning:

      Not much is know about these cunts, aside from the fact that are unloved, male, and have incredibly small penises. They are believed to be inbred as well, but that has not yet been confirmed. Also, they like to suck each other off for fun.

      I for one will not tolerate such vile behavior in my state. Vengeance must be taken, and it must be taken in spectacular fashion. I am a strong believer that the purpose of law is to punish, not to rehabilitate, and that the punishment should fit the crime. In the case of the beloved orange dinosaur, I think Hammurabi’s Code should be invoked, the good old “eye for an eye” treament. The vandals severed the dinosaur’s legs at the ankles, pushed it over, and left it for dead; the same should be done to them.

These bastards seriously need to die. A lot.