Archive for January, 2009
January 23, 2009 – 12:47 PM by GPFontaine

      Forum member Fernin has blessed us all with the birth of LexiaBot9000. Our new friendly neighborhood IRC bot is available to test your trivia skills, give you your fortune, and strap bombs to your back. You can learn all about the LexiaBot9000 in the Sydapedia.

How To Start The Game:
!timebomb not_sure    

January 12, 2009 – 9:34 AM by GPFontaine

      With Syd’s blessing, I have carved out a small hole in the wall where I can write and rant as I see fit. If you don’t know where to look, you may have trouble finding it; the location isn’t prominent at all. In fact, unless you were specifically looking for it, you would probably drive right past it. Here are the MapQuest directions:

  1. Keep left at the fork in the road. (0.2 mi)
  2. Take the third exit at the rotary. For those outside New England, a rotary is known as a traffic circle. (3.7 mi)
  3. Follow the river for 6 miles and take a right over the bridge on to East Bumblefuck Lane. (6.1 mi)
  4. When you get to the end of the road, my site is the last one on the left side of the cul-de-sac. (0.4 mi)

Update: I have been informed that some of you have been getting lost by using those directions. TRY THIS INSTEAD.

As with all of my nonsense, you can talk about it here or on the forums.

January 10, 2009 – 9:41 AM by Syd Lexia

      As the project leader over at Gamers Against Racism!, I recently contacted myself to let me know that the Final Fantasy poster has been updated. It is now animated. I have decided to pass this important time sensitive information on to you. Act now! Add this graphic to your MySpace!

Gamers Against Racism!

January 9, 2009 – 1:58 PM by Dr. Jeebus

The holiday season is over, and that means I have enough time to update the blog again. This entire week was dedicated to some Simpsons lists, and I hope you enjoy them!
The 13 Best Episodes That Aren’t The 25 Best Episodes of The Simpsons
The 10 Worst Episodes From The 8 Best Seasons of The Simpsons
The 25 Greatest Episodes of The Simpsons of All Time, Part 1
The 25 Greatest Episodes of The Simpsons of All Time, Part 2
There are a few controversial picks, but overall I’m confident with the list and I hope you all enjoy. Be sure to check back next week!

January 5, 2009 – 8:34 PM by Syd Lexia

      It is time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the semi-popular site feature where I show you some of the keywords that brought visitors to the site. This FWSE report is for the three week period beginning December 14th and ending January 3rd. As always, these are all real searches.

1. sly hentai – Cooper or Stallone? YOU FAIL EITHER WAY.

2. what we learn from are you afraid of the dark – I did an article or two on that. Maybe five.

3. how many syd lexias are there – Only me as far as I know, and if I find any fucking imposters, I’ll fight to them to death.

4. guy underwater jacking off – About that… NO.

5. fucking turtles logo – This search intrigues me? Was the person searching for a logo that featuring turtles fucking? Was he or she searching for a turtle-based logo that pissed them off so that they often referred to it as “that fucking turtles logo”? Or were they simply mad at the Logo programming language and its turtle cursor? We may never know.

6. 1986 happy meal red plastic box – That’s a McDonaldland TV Lunch Box. It debuted in 1987 in select test markets, and was reused in 1988 on a national scale. It came with stickers.

7. what are the best nes games – Fuck if I know!

8. muppet christmas movie with doll – That would be The Christmas Toy, a TV special from 1986. It was awesome. Both this and another Muppet special, Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas were two of my favorite holiday movies when I was little.

9. christmas is a waste of fucking money – I disagree. I enjoy buying stuff for other people.

10. the queen – I hear she’s dynamite with a laser beam.

11. christmas eve fucking – But then Santa won’t come! Well, unless you’re fucking Santa. You know what, let’s forget I even said that, because that’s awful. Christmas is about innocence and purity and candy canes and unicorns, not cheap thrills and vulgarity. People, just say no to Christmas fucking. Ladies, don’t give up your special spot on Christmas Eve. And gentleman, if you feel the need to validate your manhood, do it by buying your special lady a really expensive present, not by inserting yourself in her.

12. a fighting game where you can cut off limbsHow about Time Killers?

13. what happens if you beat super mario bros the second time – You get the exact same ending you got the first time:

14. naked ladies – I like those! You like those too? WE SHOULD HANG OUT!!!

15. tom green battles aliens in a movie – I hope he loses. Badly.

16. bart anal game – Those are three words I never expected to see together, nor did I ever want to. In all fairness though, an anal game starring Bart Simpson probably wouldn’t be noticeably worse than most of the other Simpsons video games.

17. are you afraid of the dark chlorine – No. I’m not afraid of the light chlorine either.

18. choose your own adventure cave of time – That was one of two articles that Dr. Jeebus wrote for the main site before starting his awesome blog.

19. loose weight and ride the elevators – I’d love to, but it’s fucking impossible to get a copy of Wii Fit right now.

20. alex the kidd in miracle world bad guy name – The bad guy is called Janken the Great. Also, the protagonist is called Alex Kidd, no “the”.

21. erin esurance hentai – Always save the best for last!

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

January 3, 2009 – 10:40 PM by Syd Lexia

A new article is up.