January 3, 2005 – 2:08 PM by Syd Lexia

      In recent weeks, there’s been a proliferation of annoying commercials trying to get people to buy custom ringtones. What the fuck? These companies must be selling this shit to someone. If you’re one of those people who just *has* to have a ringtone that says “Yeaaaaah boooooooy! Pick up the phone!” then I have an exciting deal for you. If you can find your way to SydLexia.com headquarters, I will stab you in your fucking face free of charge. Choose from one of three amazing knives: pocket knife, switchblade, or carving knife. You will have to sign a legal waiver, of course.

      I have an offer for the rest of you too. If you bring a high-ranking executive from one of these ringtone companies to my lair, I will give you $5 and an official SydLexia.com 2×4. You must bring proof that the person does indeed work for one of these ringtone companies and you MUST keep that fucking idiot both alive and unharmed.

One Response to “Free Offer”

FIRST POST!

By First Post Guy on Jan 3, 2005 @ 4:46 pm

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