Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly site feature where I take a look at some of the terms that visitors to my site typed into Yahoo, Google, and MSN. This FWSE report is for week of August 5th through August 11th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. boy fucking there grandmother – I am pretty sure the only correct way to punctuate this search is: Boy fucking! There, grandmother! Regardless, it’s still a fucking retarded search. How about you stop looking for underage/overage porn and go fucking kill yourself. If anyone wants the IP on this loser, it’s 68.219.43.86.

2. spider fetish – Go cut yourself like a good little goth.

3. mortal combat pictures that move – I could berate you over your pathetic typo, but I won’t. Here:

 
4. nude pictures hillary clinton fake – I wouldn’t want to see fake nude pictures of Hillary Clinton any more than I’d want to see real ones. Sure, you could paste her face over Teagen Presley’s body, but what’s the point when you could just look at Teagen Presley instead?

5. why did bruce lee die – Because you touch yourself at night.

6. early nes game where you shoot fish – Your mom smells like fish… in her vagina.

7. nickelodeon orange – Congratulations, you have successfully identified the color of the Nickelodeon logo. GOOD JOB!

8. best nes game ever – Final Fantasy VII.

9. aural sex can make you sick – No, aural sex can make you deaf.

10. sydlexia is a big doody – Fuck you, you fucking asshole. I have feelings, you know. There are certain things you just shouldn’t call ever people and “a big doody” is one of those things. Where’s your fucking decency? I hope you choke to death on your dad’s balls, assuming you even know who your father is.

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.