Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the reccuring site feature where I take a look at some of the search terms that brought visitors to the site. This FWSE report is for the five week period beginning May 4th and ending June 7th. As always, these are all real searches. Let’s begin…
1. gigyas in earthbound rape hentai – Well, looks like we’re already off to a great start…
2. what is a bootleg arcade game – A bootleg arcade game in any unlicensed reproduction of arcade boards, ROMs, and/or chips manufactured by another company. Many bootleg arcade games also feature code alterations that change the gameplay. For example, the abilities to throw fireballs while jumping and block while jumping were first introduced into the Street Fighter series in a Street Fighter II bootleg.
3. sonya blade’s ass – Yeah, Sonya’s ass is pretty hot. Just look at it:
4. yo noid sprites – I’m sorry, what? I’m still thinking about Sonya’s ass. Man, those are some hot pixels. Especially at 4X magnification.
5. what happens to a girl’s vagina when she falls in love – Um… nothing? But when a girl gets sexually aroused, her vagina lubricates itself.
6. Hudson’s Adventure Island – Adventure Island rules. It’s also the first NES game I ever reviewed for the site.
7. erin esurance getting fucked – In Soviet Russia, Esurance fucks YOU! No wait, that’s what happens in America.
8. maniac mansion endings – Valdronius wrote a great article on some of the ways that Maniac Mansion can end. Most of them involve death.
9. syd lexia – I fucking love that guy.
10. fuck my friend while she sleeps – Okay, but only if she tells me ahead of time that she’s into it. I refuse to get tricked into raping someone… again.
11. koosh tennis – Koosh Tennis rules.
12. is link from legend of zelda really a girl – No, but the character Sheik, who first appeared in Ocarina of Time, is really Zelda in disguise. Maybe that’s what you’re thinking of. That, or you’re just a fucking retard.
13. how teh internet works – Easy. Like this.
14. how to defeat grumple gromit – Get the lightning bottle, then shoot lightning bolts at him until he dies. The number at the top of the screen indicates how many hitpoints he has left.
15. greatest snes games – Once again, here’s the list.
16. movies that have anything about christmas in them. – Christmas Ape. Also, Christmas Ape Goes To Summer Camp.
17. porn stars named jill – Jill Kelly is the only one worth mentioning:
18. mario nad sonic – I love typos.
19. mortal kombat secret fatalities – Back in the days before home versions and GameFAQs, all the fatalities were secret. Now none of them are.
20. how to clean a troll doll – Use a toothbrush and pay special attention to the ass crack. You’re gonna want to massage that ass crack for a good 15-20 minutes.
21. mcdonalds halloween buckets – I have a bunch of those things. A plethora, even. Check it out.
22. heathcliff and cleo fucking – Heathcliff and Cleo NEVER fucked. Heathcliff fucked Sonya; Cleo fucked Riff-Raff.
23. nikki cox uses too much collagen – She certainly does:
24. cosplay – is retarded.
25. what position should i be in to do umk3 fatalities – Missionary.
26. are my red rose tea figurines worth anything – No.
27. duck tales transylvania secret treasure – There two secret treasures in DuckTales are hidden in the African Mines and on the Moon; there isn’t on in Transylvania. There is, however, an extra hitpoint hidden in the level. From the start of the level, go right until you get to the first rope. Climb up it. When you get to the top, go right and keep going right until you come to what appears to be a solid wall. Walk through it and you’ll find a treasure chest on the other side. Open it for a permanent hitpoint.
28. sirron kcuhc dnif – You don’t find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.
29. video game emoticons –
30. a really nice ass in tight sweatpants – Didn’t we already cover this?
31. sydlexia best genesis games – Sorry, that doesn’t exist… yet.
32. peach rapes bowser – That’s even worse than Bowser raping Peach.
33. affective response art – Hey, let’s read a slightly edited version of a paper Syd wrote for a high level university philosophy course. His former professor, Dr. Robert Innis, would be proud. Maybe.
34. let’s play mickey mousecapade – Let’s not.
35. best nes games – I wouldn’t know anything about that.
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.