Before I start with Fun With Search Engines, I have two quick news updates:
A new comic went up Friday. Those of you on MySpace may already be aware of this.
The Whomp ‘Em article that went up last week is actually finished now: captions, conclusions, everything. Well, except for the proofreading part.
And now, without further delay, welcome to the 33rd installment of Fun With Search Engines. For anyone reading this who is as of yet unfamiliar with FWSE, it is a weekly report that I do where I review some of keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This report is for the week starting September 4th and ending September 10th. As always, none of these keywords have been faked. And now, it’s go time:
1. kristin cavalleri – Despite there being absolutely NO CONTENT involving her on the site, Kristin Cavallari has become one of my most popular search terms. I feel kinda bad for the fucking retards who come here looking for information on Kristin Cavallari only to find that there is, in fact, no information on Kristin Cavallari to be found here. I feel like the witch from Hansel and Gretel, luring unsuspecting teenage girls to my website made of gingerbread. Only when the girls get here, there’s no gingerbread and no Kristin Cavallari, and then I eat them. And no, not in the way that they might enjoy.
2. wizards and warriors sprites nes – What a silly internet user. I researched this extensively, and Sprite never did a promotion involving Wizards & Warriors or any other Nintendo game. That’s not particularly surprising though, because, like, how could you even ATTEMPT to fit an NES cartridge into a Sprite can?
3. skinnamarink motions – Make up your own, no one will ever know the difference. But the one key movement that I remember from it is when you make an ‘L’ with your hands by resting your elbow in the palm of your other hand.
4. unsafe nickelodeon’s – Unless this person was referring to the Nickelodeon Moon Shoes, I have no idea what the fuck this means.
5. hulk hogan’s wife – is kind of annoying. She came off as a total bitch in that episode of Hogan Knows Best where they found out they had more pets than the town allowed.
6. gifs snk index php – That ain’t no way to search, son. That ain’t no way to search.
a boy and his blob plot – OK, here: an albino blob with the unfortunately cheesy name of Blobert who leaves his home planet of Blobonia in hopes of finding someone who can supply him with the weapons necessary to overthrow the planet’s evil emperor. He comes to Earth where he meets a young Nicolas Cage who just begun dealing both guns and jellybeans. Together Blobert and the Lord of War