February 13, 2006 – 5:45 PM by Syd Lexia

      Welcome to yet another installment of Fun With Search Engines, the weekly feature where I comment on some of the keywords that visitors to my site put into various search engines. This FWSE report is for the week starting February 5th and ending February 11th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. legend of the hidden temple video game – Even though you failed to pluralize the word “legend”, I am going to assume you are referring to the classic Nickelodeon show Legends of the Hidden Temple. I’ve got some bad news, no such game ever existed. According to GameFAQs, there isn’t a single game that even has both the words “hidden” and “temple” in its title. There were only two Nickelodeon video games from that era: GUTS on the Super Nintendo and Clarissa Darling’s Date Rape Tragedy on the Sega Genesis.

2. eat my shorts nickelodeon – Congratulations, you’ve managed to confuse a tired old Bart Simpson catchphrase with a classic Nickelodeon show.

3. hockey ducktales – You’re probably thinking of Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series, one of the worst cartoons ever to grace the Disney Afternoon.

4. super mario bros. and heathcliff free dvd – Such a thing does exist. It came in specially marked boxes of General Mills cereals at some point in 2004. I have it:

 
5. when you’re at a party and that thing flies and neck – I agree.

6. what soda has the least caffeine – Gee, how about the ones that say CAFFEINE FREE in big fucking letters right on the bottle? Maybe it’s those ones, you retard.

7. me and mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird, and instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a santa claus suit. he’d been climbing down the chimney on christmas eve. his arm was loaded with presents. he was gonna surprise us. he slipped and broke his neck, died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no santa claus… – And the award for Longest Fucking Search Term That I’ve Ever Seen goes to the person in seat number 62.171.194.12. Pleae note that no actual prize will be awarded.
 
That’s it. Here’s a comic.

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