Every so often, I get link partnership requests from other websites. Unfortunately, very rarely are these offers legitimate. Most of the time, these offers come from sites that are barely two months old and that engage in businesses unrelated to SydLexia.com. For example, here’s an e-mail I received today. It appears as an image to avoid giving these fucking douchebags any actual links or the improved search engine placement that comes with links.
Sarah, you dumb British whore, have you ever even looked at SydLexia.com? If you had, you’d know that I would not benefit in any tangible way from associating myself with a fucking bingo site, especially one that, according to Alexa, currently gets 1.3% of the traffic that my site does. There’s not a single goddam useful thing that I get out of this deal. And the worst part is that this isn’t even a link exchange! They’re offering to write some spammy bullshit about bingo for me that I can publish as “unique content” on my site with a link to their site at the bottom. Yeah… no fucking thanks. I already have BARRELS of unique and popular content created by myself and my trusted associates; I don’t need any fucking help. But I’m a courteous guy, so I replied. Here’s what I said:
I am very excited in this opportunity. As I’m sure you know, SydLexia.com
prominently features bingo and bingo-related merchandise, and I would very
much like to build relevant links with other bingo sites. This should
increase both of our bingo-related traffic tenfold. Please tell me more. As
you blokes say in England, pip pip cheerio, chin up, and keep muddling
through! If this partnership works out, I hope that someday we can take the
lift to the loo for some fish n’ chips and a little bit of how’s your mum.
Carry on then, and get back to me.
Your friend,
Syd Lexia, Bingo Enthusiast
I do hope to receive an expedient reply. If I do, I’ll be sure to share it. In the meantime, why not visit Use Bombs, Dark Maze Studios, SoldierHawk’s Emporium, and Day Of The Woman? Their links can be found in the sidebar, and they are all quite deserving of your traffic.
FIRST POST!
At least it’s well-written. Most of the spam I encounter was typed in less than three minutes and is three times as long.
Obvious form letter is obvious.
Here’s the reply I got. Up to 600 words? Fuck that.
I love it when they don’t even read their responses.
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