For those who don’t know yet, I now have a blog on this site. You really should know though, it’s been there for months. There’s even a link to it on the site’s nav bar. Oh well, I forgive you for not knowing.
Anyway, now that the news section is as operational as that second Death Star (fully), I can keep you all updated on the status of the blog. The blog updates four times a week, usually Monday through Thursday. Every week I’ll post links to all of my new entries here in the news section, just in case you forget to bookmark me. This week I’m also including a link to my most popular article thus far, in case you missed it.
THIS WEEK’S ENTRIES:
My 10 Favourite Arcade Games of All Time
MTG Secret Santa
Jeebus Saves! (The Earth)
Obama Won – Get Over It You Fucking Crybabies
BONUS ENTRY:
Paperboy for the NES: Bullshit Liberal Propaganda
After well over two months of the news section being fucked up, it is finally time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site feature where I take a look at some of the keywords that brought visitors to the site. This FWSE report is for the giant period of time starting on September 14th and ending November 29th. As always, these are all real searches.
1. why don’t link and zelda ever end up together – Haven’t you ever seen the cartoon series? They don’t end up together because Link is arrogant and boastful. Let that be a lesson to all you ballers out there.
2. punny names – I don’t understand what this has to do with my site.
3. homo arcade game – I covered this game in my 2007 article Fifteen Misleading Arcade Game Names.
4. samus aran handjob animation – …and we’re already into hentai searches. Fantastic.
5. how to make a pentagon in logo – In Logo, the angle used to make an equilateral polygon is decided is 360/X where X is the number of sides that the polygon has. Since a pentagon has 5 sides, the correct angle would be 72 degrees. Thus, a good example of an equilateral pentagon could be made with the following command: REPEAT 5 [RT 72 FD 35]
6. where can I buy a blob – From the first shop in the original Legend of Zelda:
7. santa claus fucking carmen – If we’re talking about Carmen Sandiego, she has no interest in having sex with real live men; that’s why she stole the North Pole.
8. the most imitated nude site – It’s whoever was the first site to do that whole “These Are Real Girls We Picked Up Off The Streets And Not Paid Actors, We Swear, Even Though You’re Going Them On A Similar Site Next Week. You Can Tell It’s Not Professional Porn Because We Use Sloppy Camera Angles.” I believe the first such site was either NetVideoGirls or MILF Hunter.
9. well known snes games – If they’re well-known, shouldn’t you know them?
10. pac man life site sydlexia.com – This remains one of my most popular articles.
11. dr. jeebus wakefield – Dr. Jeebus does indeed hail from Wakefield, Massachusetts. However, he doesn’t live here anymore.
12. centipede diagram – I hope this helps:
13. demoralizing posters – You can see a bunch of demotivational posters, including some designed by me, HERE.
14. mortal kombat nudalities – These do not exist.
15. did the n64 have a super scope – Of course not; the Super Scope was the proper name of the official SNES light gun. The real question is this: did the N64 have a light gun? The answer again, would seem to be no. A company called Naki announced plans to release an N64 peripheral called the Lunar Gun in November 1997, but as far as I know, it was never released. If it was, good luck finding it, let alone a game that’s compatible with it. Had the Lunar Gun been released, it was to have retailed for $39.99. Its optional laser sight add-on would have been $34.99.
16. bryan danielson has no charisma – I have no idea who that is, but I agree!
17. young girls who beg their brothers to fuck them – Oh internet, how I hate you. It’s stuff like this that makes me wish God would smite our society.
18. drinking old pepsi – Drinking old Pepsi is a bad idea. I should know.
19. sydlexia will soon be mine – Is that a threat, or are you coming on to me? Either way, I’m a little worried about this search.
20. stunt dawgs cartoon t-shirt – I don’t know where to get Stunt Dawgs merchandise, but I totally want some.
21. lewis carroll zodiac killer – This is an interesting theory. Let’s take a look at it more closely. The Zodiac Killer claimed his first victim in 1968; Lewis Carroll died in 1898. So yeah, I don’t think that Lewis Carroll was the Zodiac Killer. It is also unlikely that he was Jack The Ripper, but some scholars insist that he was.
22. singing orange from sesame street – You can see that and seven other creepy Sesame Street clips in my feature on how Sesame Street ruined my entire fucking life.
23. down the basement lock the cellar door – and baby, talk dirty to me.
24. why does the nes suck so bad – It doesn’t. YOU suck.
25. avoid the noid – You should. He’s fucked in the head:
26. nudity in arcade games illegal – Nudity in arcade games isn’t illegal and several notorious adult-themed arcade games exist, most notably the Gals Panic series. However, the mainstream arcades of the 1980s and early 1990s didn’t dare to stock such games, as they already received plenty of trouble from perturbed parents and angry activists over the truancy their addictive arcade games caused and the violence contained within said games. Stocking such games would also have potentially forced arcade owners to make their establishments 18+, severely hurting their profitability.
27. a momentary lapse of reason review – Hey, remember when I used to do album reviews?
28. black guy punches clown – Why does he have to be black? Punching clowns is something that people of all colors and ethnicities can enjoy.
29. how to kill the bear alex the kidd miracle+world – Run up to him as soon as you see him and punch him over and over. If your time it properly, he won’t get a chance to swing his sword.
30. guns end roses – Yes they do. But aside from Hi-Tech Expressions version of Mega Man 3, you really don’t see it happen all that often.
31. mcdonalds halloween buckets – Despite being two years old, my article on the McDonald’s Halloween Pails did fantastic traffic this October.
32. kara beth borden – You know, if it wasn’t for Encyclopedia Dramatica, I don’t think anyone would even remember Kara Borden.
33. rape ayumi don’t rape ayumi game – The game featured in the famous demotivational meme is called Tokimeki Check-In.
34. smoke comes to fight now and his first move is a bloody uppercut in johnny cage – I’d say this search sounds like bad fan fiction, but that would be redundant.
35. which mega man game was the best – Some people will tell you that Mega Man 2 was the best; they’re wrong. Mega Man 3 was the best.
36. how to pronounce mephisto – It’s pronounched meh-FIST-oh.
37. heathcliff cat rhyme – One, two, Heathcliff’s coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, get a catnip fix. Seven, eight, shut the gate. Nine, ten, never sleep again.
38. mortal kombat deception moves list – The game has a moves list built into it. Press Start during a match to access it. That, or go to GameFAQs.
39. earthworm jim hentai – Worms are hermaphroditic, so accurate Earthworm Jim hentai would be pretty fucked up. Like, moreso than regular hentai.
40. what film did not have arnold’s voice in it – If we’re talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger, the film in question would be Hercules in New York. The director was so frustrated with Arnold’s accent, that he dubbed some other guy over all of Arnold’s lines. Luckily, he preserved the original voice track, and the DVD release of the film gives you the option of listening to either Arnold or the dub; both are equally hilarious.
41. kidnapped kids ninja nes – That would be Wrath of the Black Manta:
42. mega man 1 beat 8 robot masters – There are only six Robot Masters in the original Mega Man, so good luck trying to beat eight.
43. unblockable porn sites – “There are no unlockable doors. There are no unwinnable wars. There is no unpoppable corn or unblockable porn.” – Ozzy Osbourne
44. vgcats hentai – Thankfully, I’m pretty sure the internet has not yet reached the point where bored amateur artists are turning webcomics into hentai.
45. are you afraid of the dark trapped in a mall – That would be the final episode from Season 1, The Tale of the Pinball Wizard. I wrote an article on it.
46. rosa parks hentai – Um… seriously? I think this wins the award for MOST AWFUL INTERNET SEARCH EVER.
47. mindfuck – Ok, so a long time ago, three super hot lesbians decided to rent a room at an inn. The innkeeper told them that it would cost 30 GP for a room at the inn. Being lesbians, they agreed to split the bill evenly. Shortly after the innkeeper gave them the key to the room, he realized he had made a terrible mistake: he had forgotten that the inn had changed its rate from 30 GP to 25 GP. Unable to leave the desk himself, the innkeeper gave the 5 GP to his stable boy and told him to bring it to the three girls. The stable boy, realizing that 5 GP doesn’t split evenly among three women, pocketed 2 GP and gave the remaining 3 GP back to the girls. However, this causes a serious mathematical problem. You see, each girl ended up paying 9 GP for the room, for a total of 27 GP. The stable boy pocketed the remaining 2 GP. However, 27 and 2 only adds up to 29, and the girls originally paid 30 GP. So then, what happened to the missing piece of gold? OH MY GOD, IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!!!
48. board games are better than video games – I disagree.
49. day of the dinosaur t-shirt – I have that shirt! It hasn’t fit me in damn near 20 years!
50. heathcliff the cat for president – Cats can’t be president, especially cartoon ones. Especially cartoon cats animated in Japan. Especially when both the creator of the comic strip (Peter Gallagher) and the character’s voice (Mel Blanc) are dead.
51. penis – Yell it in the lunchroom as loud as you can.
52. best nes games – I’ve got you covered.
53. 100 greatest snes games – I’ve got you covered on that, too.
54. super mario bros second quest – It’s exactly like the first quest, except the elevators are shorter, there are more spinning fire sticks in the castles, and the Goombas have all been replaced with Buzzy Beetles.
55. sun water moon star sun moon water fish star fish – That’s the solution to the final room in Alex Kidd in Miracle World.
56. homemade wife’s christmas fuck present – I bet there’s a “No Exchange, No Return” policy on that.
57. power rangers episodes – I prefer psychotic episodes.
58. you’re something of the most important in my fucking life – Thanks?
59. sly cooper porn – You know, it’s kinda funny. I get a lot of searches for Sly Cooper hentai, but I have not ever played a Sly Cooper game in my entire life, nor do I ever plan to.
60. gorilla hand ashtray – That sounds pretty badass. I’m gonna take up smoking so that I have an excuse to get one.
61. pepsi secret ingredient – The secret ingredient is love, dammit!
62. i don’t know – Me either!
63. hillary clinton chocolate chip cookies – I’m pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies.
64. salute your shorts – I’d rather not.
65. best christmas films – Here’s my list.
66. arcade game where you had to dodge sparx – That would be Qix:
67. nes space shooter – Abadox? Gradius? Life Force? The Last Starfighter? Star Force? Star Soldier? Star Star Who’s Got The Star?
68. michael jackson moonwalker arcade game – I love that game.
69. iggy – Pop or Koopa?
70. how can i thank god enough for you – Send me money.
71. axl rose chinese democracy – Chinese Democracy is currently available at Best Buy and on iTunes. Buy it!
72. best christmas love story – Little Christmas Tail starring Debi Diamond, Angela Summers, and Alicyn Sterling.
73. revolution x – MUSIC IS THE WEAPON!
74. you said you didn’t want to hurt me – Yeah, well, I lied.
75. november rain – For some indeterminable reason, there were a lot of searches for this last month.
76. erin esurance nude hentai fucking – You knew it was coming.
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.
An anonymous tipster read yesterday’s post about my blog account being broken and explained to me what I had to do to fix it. So expect a new FWSE within the next few days. Despite the news section being fixed, I still plan to debut a newer, prettier, more secure news section by the end of the year.
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Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, that thing where I comment on some of the keywords that brought visitors to the site. This FWSE report is for the three week period beginning August 24th and ending September 13th. As always, these are all real searches.
1. skeletor motivational poster – Skeletor has way too much motivation. I mean, the guy NEVER wins and he refuses to give up. There’s a fine line between resilence and complete stupidity, and Skeletor, you have crossed it.
2. the greatest yugioh dress up shagging games – How about this: dress up like Yu-Gi-Oh, then go fuck yourself.
3. how to get to the pleasure dome in smash tv – Eh, it’s not all that great:
4. nes strategy game – I recommend North & South.
5. aerosmith’s november rain video – EPIC FAIL.
6. www.donkeyshow.com – SUPER EPIC FAIL.
7. grandmothers getting fucked in the ass – SUPER MEGA EPIC FAIL.
8. mega man iii sucks – Assuming we’re talking about this version, it certainly does. Otherwise, YOU suck.
9. maria lutzke masturbates – I’m willing to bet she hasn’t since that private webcam video got leaked in 2004. And not just because she probably has no problem finding dates. No, it’s probably because it’s difficult for her to enjoy doing it after the scandal.
10. bomberman hentai – I can’t even begin to fathom how Bomberman hentai would work. Bomberman and some Charaboms, maybe? *shudder*
11. ghost – BOO!
12. link and zelda having fun – How about this:
13. mega man robot master weaknesses – Real men use the Mega Buster on everyone.
14. what snes game should I play first – Start at the beginning, Super Mario World.
15. centipede video game – The board game wasn’t bad either.
16. game with cute bears as secret agents on phone – I’m not convinced this is a real game. I think maybe you’re high on peyote.
17. how to really fuck with someone – Tell him you’re into wife-swapping, then frame him for the murder of your wife. This may or may not have been the plot of the movie Consenting Adults.
18. best christmas movies – Jesus Christ, it’s not even Halloween yet!
19. wikipedia nes hentai – This is just a guess, but Wikipedia is probably not the best place to go for hentai. Or maybe it is, I don’t know. I’ve never really looked for hentai, so for all I know Wikipedia is just teeming with naughty pictures of Sailor Moon.
20. peppercorn ranch sun chips – Not a fan of Sun Chips.
21. erin esurance naked sex fucking – Well, at least it’s not another donkey show search.
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.
It is time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the popular site feature where I take a look at some of the keywords that vistors to my site typed into various search engines. This FWSE report is for the four week period beginning July 27th and ending August 23rd. As always, these are all real searches. And away we go….
1. must have nes games – That was the best John Cusack movie ever.
2. salute your shorts characters – If my memory serves me correctly, there was Sponge, Donkeypunch, Mumbly Joe, Stinky Pete, Gilligan, and the rest.
3. it’s a trap – It certainly is.
4. you tyop fuck man and girl – I’ll take the girl, assuming she’s of legal age. Tyop can have the man. Sorry man, but since it’s my site, I get first pick.
5. kara beth borden – Kara Borden took her phone and snuck out of her parents’ home. When they found what she had done, her boyfriend killed them with a gun.
6. detective robert goren – I prefer Detective Mike Logan. And now he’s gone. Fuck you, Dick Wolf.
7. green flying aliens are they real – I don’t know. Call in to the Coast to Coast AM radio show and ask George Noory. If you’re really lucky, maybe Art Bell will be hosting.
8. cereal smells like cardboard – So does your face.
9. whomp ‘em – In Soviet Russia, ‘em whomp YOU!
10. i’m just soggy from the chemo – I’m soggy from being immersed in milk.
11. sigourney weaver’s tits in galaxy quest – As I recall, the rest of her body was in that movie too.
12. how to beat bald bull the fucking cheater – Bald Bull is wicked easy. You suck.
13. peach gives mario a blowjob – Not unless he gives her a shitload of coins.
14. mistress helga – Kerri Hoskins is awesome.
15. amber lynn – Please retire, kthx.
16. camp lazlo yaoi – Gayest. Search. Ever.
17. nintendo games list – List of Nintendo Games (Incomplete):
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Totally Rad
Operation Wolf
Super Spring
18. ronald mcdonald fucking wendy – I got a better idea: me fucking your girlfriend. Oh wait, you’re searching for burger-related hentai. YOU DON’T HAVE ONE.
19. kill your idols – In Soviet Russia, your idols kill YOU! Actually, that’s a pretty fair portrait of Stalinism.
20. i want genesis roms – In Soviet Russia, putting three Yakov Smirnoff jokes in one FWSE is hilarious instead of lazy!
21. game where you walk around and get a skateboard – There’s not really any walking in any Tony Hawk games, so I’m gonna go with Adventure Island.
22. slurp – That’s the sound your mom makes.
23. megaman all bosses – You know, I’d like to explain my response to #22, in case you didn’t understand it. See, slurp is the sound your mom makes when she swallows. Semen, that is. After doing stuff to my penis. With her mouth. Makes sense, right?
24. best nes game overs – Being as I’m a helpful guy, here’s the complete opposite of what you wanted: Bullshit NES Endings!
25. official space channel 5 hentai – I could be wrong here, but I’m pretty sure there’s no official Space Channel 5 hentai.
26. superman – More like BORINGman, amirite?
27. alexx the kid sega – Clearly you mean THIS.
28. erin esurance nude – Big surprise.
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.
Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site report where I comment on some of the keywords that brought visitors to the site. This FWSE report is for the six week period beginning June 15th and ending July 26th. As always, these are all real searches. Let’s begin…
1. alex kidd in miracle world scissor head – Actually, his name is Scissors Head. There’s a screenshot somewhere in this article that proves it.
2. wavebird taken apart – Hey asshole, instead of taking your Wavebird controller apart, why don’t you send it to me, Syd Lexia? I need two more.
3. you’ve got a lot to learn before you beat me – The hell I do! You’re a fucking pussy. (Yes, yes, I know it’s from a damn video game.)
4. tia carrere vs asia carrera – Both of them are pretty hot, but Tia Carrere wins. There’s something really sexy about a girl who you haven’t already seen with one or more dicks inside her.
5. i’m feeling lucky – Really? Why? DON’T YOU KNOW YOU’RE DEAD!?
6. nothing lasts forever – SydLexia.com will last forever. I guarantee it.
7. dragons fucking girls – NO.
8. all megaman bosses – Mega Man only has one boss, Keiji Inafune.
9. you watch sesame street as an adult just to see the count – That’s not true at all. I also watch to see Cookie Monster, Oscar, and Elmo. And Big Bird. And Grover, on the rare occasions that they decide to use him. Oh, and Snuffy. Truth be told, I fucking love all the Muppets on Sesame Street. Well, except bullshit newer ones like Zoe, Baby Bear, and Rosita. I hope they all get raped and killed. Especially Baby Bear. But ESPECIALLY Rosita.
10. what is the weirdest animal – The weirdest animal… IS MAN!!!!!
11. kara beth borden – Really? Still? People are still fascinated with thise case? I really need to become an accessory to murder so I can be an internet celebrity too.
12. zelda fucks link – I don’t think they’re fucking. If they were fucking, they’d have at least one kid by now. I mean, Christ, it’s been 20+ years.
13. mario fucks peach – See above.
14. i’m batman – I’ll phrase my answer in the form of a Final Fantasy IV screenshot:
15. syd lexia stinks – He sure does.
16. slut getting fucked by 3 disk at the same time – Fuck you and fuck your techno-hentai.
17. wizard fred savage torrent – Just buy the damn DVD. It’s awesome.
18. jeebusfnchrist – That’s my brother’s AIM screenname, not that he’s ever on it.
19. joe and mac caveman ninjas – I love that game.
20. mothers who are fucking – Lots of mothers are fucking, especially the ones who got pregnant at 16.
21. snes game with frogs – Battletoads in Battlemaniacs?
22. guitar hero metallica – I sure hope Unforgiven III is in the game! 
23. forums negative experiences with jews – Get the fuck off my site, you worthless fucking Stormfront.org piece of trash. The most prominent follower of Judaism on my forums, The Flying Jew, has increased the awesomeness of said forums tenfold.
24. prequels are underrated – Rarely is that true. The video game Resident Evil Zero, however, was most definitely underrated.
25. randy dandytoes – Randy Dandytoes, you signed up for my forums. You even sent me a message. But then you never posted. That made me sad.
26. i want to fuck erin esurance so bad – Get a fucking life.
27. females in hard hats – Dude, that is a seriously fucked up fetish.
28. where to buy caffeine free pepsi – …at your local supermarket? Seriously, where the fuck do you live that Caffeine-Free Pepsi is such a rare commodity that you have to fucking Google it to find out more information about it?
29. when is a new mario game going to come out – Jesus Fucking Christ. Mario Galaxy just came out last November, and you’re already whining for a NEW Mario game? You’re an impatient little fuck, aren’t ya?
30. teeth movie – Teeth is a fantastic fucking movie. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes horror movies, vaginas, or horror movies about vaginas.
31. sirron kcuhc dnif – In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris finds YOU!
32. dodge the grim reaper in alex kidd – Be Quick Or Be Dead.
33. maniac mansion how do u get package back from ed – You can’t. You need to get the package before Ed gets it, then give it to him. There’s no reason you should ever need it back from him.
34. bubble bobble endings nes – This is the best possible ending in the NES version:
35. tmnt ii the arcade game play as splinter – That’s totally possible and it so not some bullshit lie that one of your idiot friends told you. Also, there are nudalities in Mortal Kombat 2.
36. clarissa explains it all – She never explained to me that there’s no cure for herpes… or that she had it.
37. the a team game – The board game? Check it out here.
38. syd lexia sorry i’m dead – You don’t need to apologize to me. I don’t even know you.
39. every nintendo game – has its thorn.
40. erin esurance nude – Yes, I really do get enough Erin Esurance searches that I need to bring her up twice in the same FWSE.
41. velociraptor mask – You really need a full body costume to be a velociraptor.
42. amy rose hentai – MOAR HENTAI! AWSUM!!!!!!!!
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.
Dr. Jeebus now has his own blog on the site. Check it out.
It’s time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the site report where I take a look at some of the keywords that visitors to the site typed into search engines. This FWSE report is for the week beginning June 8th and ending June 14th. As always, these are all real searches.
1. watch boiling point mtv online – Here’s a better idea: go fuck yourself. MTV sucks.
2. afshaal from arabian magic – Afshaal was an entrant in the 2006 SydLexia.com Character Battle. He was defeated by Valdronius.
3. mk1 skorpion – Believe it or not, not every word in the Mortal Kombat Extended Universe™ uses K’s instead of C’s.
4. greatest snes game of all – According to Whitney Houston, learning to love yourself is the greatest SNES game of all… or something like that.
5. rolling thunder leila tortured – The Leila torture scenes in Rolling Thunder were never considered an adequate substitute for actual porn, largely because you can’t beat off in an arcade.
6. hentai sex up the ass shit comes out – BARF.
7. i fucked my fourteen year old sister – If you’re the searcher at IP address 64.136.27.229, you’ve just won a fabulous prize:
8. would you survive a xenomorph encounter – Yes I would.
9. i refuse to even touch a video game – Well, then SydLexia.com probably isn’t a website you’d enjoy.
10. erin esurance naked – In the words of Darth Vader, “NOOOOOOOOOO!”
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.
Another new comic is up.
Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the reccuring site feature where I take a look at some of the search terms that brought visitors to the site. This FWSE report is for the five week period beginning May 4th and ending June 7th. As always, these are all real searches. Let’s begin…
1. gigyas in earthbound rape hentai – Well, looks like we’re already off to a great start…
2. what is a bootleg arcade game – A bootleg arcade game in any unlicensed reproduction of arcade boards, ROMs, and/or chips manufactured by another company. Many bootleg arcade games also feature code alterations that change the gameplay. For example, the abilities to throw fireballs while jumping and block while jumping were first introduced into the Street Fighter series in a Street Fighter II bootleg.
3. sonya blade’s ass – Yeah, Sonya’s ass is pretty hot. Just look at it:
4. yo noid sprites – I’m sorry, what? I’m still thinking about Sonya’s ass. Man, those are some hot pixels. Especially at 4X magnification.
5. what happens to a girl’s vagina when she falls in love – Um… nothing? But when a girl gets sexually aroused, her vagina lubricates itself.
6. Hudson’s Adventure Island – Adventure Island rules. It’s also the first NES game I ever reviewed for the site.
7. erin esurance getting fucked – In Soviet Russia, Esurance fucks YOU! No wait, that’s what happens in America.
8. maniac mansion endings – Valdronius wrote a great article on some of the ways that Maniac Mansion can end. Most of them involve death.
9. syd lexia – I fucking love that guy.
10. fuck my friend while she sleeps – Okay, but only if she tells me ahead of time that she’s into it. I refuse to get tricked into raping someone… again.
11. koosh tennis – Koosh Tennis rules.
12. is link from legend of zelda really a girl – No, but the character Sheik, who first appeared in Ocarina of Time, is really Zelda in disguise. Maybe that’s what you’re thinking of. That, or you’re just a fucking retard.
13. how teh internet works – Easy. Like this.
14. how to defeat grumple gromit – Get the lightning bottle, then shoot lightning bolts at him until he dies. The number at the top of the screen indicates how many hitpoints he has left.
15. greatest snes games – Once again, here’s the list.
16. movies that have anything about christmas in them. – Christmas Ape. Also, Christmas Ape Goes To Summer Camp.
17. porn stars named jill – Jill Kelly is the only one worth mentioning:
18. mario nad sonic – I love typos.
19. mortal kombat secret fatalities – Back in the days before home versions and GameFAQs, all the fatalities were secret. Now none of them are.
20. how to clean a troll doll – Use a toothbrush and pay special attention to the ass crack. You’re gonna want to massage that ass crack for a good 15-20 minutes.
21. mcdonalds halloween buckets – I have a bunch of those things. A plethora, even. Check it out.
22. heathcliff and cleo fucking – Heathcliff and Cleo NEVER fucked. Heathcliff fucked Sonya; Cleo fucked Riff-Raff.
23. nikki cox uses too much collagen – She certainly does:
24. cosplay – is retarded.
25. what position should i be in to do umk3 fatalities – Missionary.
26. are my red rose tea figurines worth anything – No.
27. duck tales transylvania secret treasure – There two secret treasures in DuckTales are hidden in the African Mines and on the Moon; there isn’t on in Transylvania. There is, however, an extra hitpoint hidden in the level. From the start of the level, go right until you get to the first rope. Climb up it. When you get to the top, go right and keep going right until you come to what appears to be a solid wall. Walk through it and you’ll find a treasure chest on the other side. Open it for a permanent hitpoint.
28. sirron kcuhc dnif – You don’t find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.
29. video game emoticons – 
30. a really nice ass in tight sweatpants – Didn’t we already cover this?
31. sydlexia best genesis games – Sorry, that doesn’t exist… yet.
32. peach rapes bowser – That’s even worse than Bowser raping Peach.
33. affective response art – Hey, let’s read a slightly edited version of a paper Syd wrote for a high level university philosophy course. His former professor, Dr. Robert Innis, would be proud. Maybe.
34. let’s play mickey mousecapade – Let’s not.
35. best nes games – I wouldn’t know anything about that.
This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.