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SydLexia.com – Site News and Random Shit » 2006 » August
Archive for August, 2006
August 31, 2006 – 4:00 PM by Syd Lexia

      I’m bored, so I guess it’s time for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly news posting where I comment on some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This FWSE report is for the week of August 20th through August 26th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. porn passcodes – Try 1263229987 and see if that works. That’s the password, you’ll need a username too. Try IAMAFUCKINGRETARD, all capital letters, no spaces.

2. kara beth borden – What ever happened to Kara Beth Borden? Wait, why do I care?

3. moira quirk – In his 2006 commencement speech at UNH, keynote speaker Mike O’Malley told that crowd that “life is a lot like the Aggro Crag” and stated to the disappointment of many that he never hooked up with Mo.

4. ’s xanga site – Who’s Xanga site? Kara Borden’s? Kristin Cavallari’s? Satan’s? I need to know!

5. maniac girls fucking babies – Hmmm, let me see if I can come up with a witty and tasteless retort response to this search. OK, got one. I’m not gonna share it though. Instead, why we don’t we take this time to quietly reflect on the problem of child abuse.

6. wwe sucks – WWE sucks pretty bad these days, but you know what doesn’t suck? WWE 24/7. You can watch all sorts of awesome matches from when the WWE was the WWF as well as all sorts of classic WCW stuff. nWo 4 life, motherfucker!

7. how to fuck objects around the house – I wish I were making this up, but I’m not. Someone typed this into Yahoo and fully expected to get detailed instructions on how they could fuck their couch or their PS2 or God knows what else. This quite possibly the most pathetic thing I’ve seen all year. But to be fair, I did skip BloodRayne.

And on that rather disturbing note, I’m done. This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

August 25, 2006 – 12:01 AM by Syd Lexia

      My friend greeneyedzeke from 2d-sprites started a new website today, plutoisaplanetdammit.com. The site is up and running, but there is not really much there at this point.

      If you have any suggestions as to what should be done with this domain, you can do so here. You will have to register for my forums in order to comment.

August 24, 2006 – 4:14 PM by Syd Lexia

      It’s time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the weekly report where I take a look at some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This particularly half-assed FWSE is for the week of August 13th through August 19th. As always, these are all real searches. Enjoy.

1. camp lazlo porn – It wouldn’t be FWSE without a hentai search, now would it?

2. want logo programs having turtle to download in computer – Want learn much good English in school?

3. i want to down load mario bros for free and play it – Just get the GBA cartridge. It’s like ten bucks.

4. pit fighter sucks – Correct.

5. calf fucking cow – UGH.

6. free hardcore fucking movies – No.

7. princess peach hentai from mario – Wrong.

Sorry… I guess I’m feeling rather monosyllabic today. This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

August 23, 2006 – 6:43 PM by Syd Lexia

August 18, 2006 – 7:16 PM by Syd Lexia

      It’s time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the (usually) weekly segment where I take a look at some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This FWSE is for the week of August 6th through August 12th. As always, these are all real searches. Enjoy.

1. shit public – Fucking in public? Totally cool. Shitting in public? Absolutely nasty.

2. tax holiday – I prefer the regular kind of holiday.

3. bowser genitalia – Good question. A close up of Bowser’s SMB sprite at 100X revealed the following:

 
4. megaman regional changes – I’m too lazy to type up the whole list, but the Mexican version of Mega Man 2 is totally different from the one that people in Canada and the United States played. Instead of fighting Dr. Wily, Mega Man seeks out Quickman, the fastest Master Robot robot in all of Mehico, and together they smuggle illegal robots over the border. Also, Mega Man wore a sombrero.

5. pictures of baraka from mortal kombat – Sorry, I only have pictures of Baracus from the A-Team…

 
6. evil alien fuck games play – I’m not quite sure what that means, but I’m pretty sure it’s stupid and perverted. Oh well, at least it’s not a hentai search.

7. samus aran hentai – Oh, awesome.

Now that I’m thoroughly disgusted, it’s time to end this. This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

August 17, 2006 – 3:27 PM by Syd Lexia

      The super mega article that I’ve been promising STILL isn’t done, so instead here’s an article on the Centipede board game to help fill the void. Enjoy.

August 13, 2006 – 7:40 PM by Syd Lexia

God loves Fidel Castro.

Fidel Castro, Cuba’s beloved president, turns 80 years old today. SydLexia.com wishes him renewed health, so that he may he live another 80. Castro, pictured above with his close friend Jesus, overthrew Cuba’s corrupt Batista government in 1959 and assumed power. He is the world’s longest reigning head of state and it would pretty awesome if he could extend his winning streak to 50 years.

On behalf of SydLexia.com, I would like to extend heartfelt birthday wishes to Mr. Castro as well as call for an immediate end to the morally unjust embargo that the United States has imposed against Cuba since 1962. Viva la revolución!

August 7, 2006 – 8:11 PM by Syd Lexia

      Well, I am still behind on the site. So far behind, in fact, that I totally missed last week’s Fun With Search Engines because I was busy working on other shit. So now it’s time for a special double edition of Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site segment where I review some of the keywords that visitors to my site typed into search engines. This FWSE is for the period of time between July 23rd and August 5th. As always, these are all real searches.

1. dr jekyll and mr hyde nes instruction manual – You don’t need the instruction manual for this game; you need to avoid this game at all costs.

2. best christmas movies – It’s a little out of season, but here.

3. 1 800 232 3324 – This was a toll-free number run by LJN that gave out hints for their Who Framed Roger Rabbit? NES game. I don’t know why someone would look this up, but since we’re on the subject of disconnected 800 numbers, does anyone remember 1-800-IFEELOK? That thing was hilarious.

4. preteens fucking – I’ve decided to answer this one in the form of a picture:

 
5. how to win a boy and his blob – Use an apple jellybean.

6. big ass adventure.com – Here’s a question: if you know the name of the third rate porn site that you want to go to, why not just type it into the fucking address bar?

7. hoy guy with clown face – Even given that T is right next Y on the keyboard and this search was probably supposed to be hot guy with clown face, this still makes no fucking sense. Well, I suppose it makes sense, but a clown fetish? That just ain’t right.

8. hard fuck mom vs only son – I think this search is pretty goddam gross, but who am I to judge? Oh yeah, I’m Syd Fucking Lexia, that’s who.

9. kevin spacey dick suck – See above.

10. what does ted turner have up his sleeve – Probably nothing. His TV empire has been part of the Time Warner family for several years now and Ted has a lot less say than he did when he was running the show. In fact, that’s why WCW doesn’t exist anymore. Turner loves wrestling and he was willing to run WCW at a loss because of it. Time Warner did not share in this spirit, so they sold off WCW to the highest bidder. And unfortunately for the wrestling community, that bidder was a cocksucker by the name of Vince McMahon.

11. sissy girly pretty lipstick – As opposed to what? Sissy masculine pretty lipstick? Wait, doesn’t Gerard Way endorse that?

12. mortel combat fatalities – Sigh… This search makes me want to give up on life.

The super mega article I’ve been promising isn’t finished yet, so I’ll try to throw something else together sometime this week for you to read. This FWSE has ended. Go in peace to love and serve pop culture.

August 4, 2006 – 3:55 PM by Syd Lexia